You know I really have to wonder..Why do we make some of the choices that we do?
I was emailing my aunt and maybe feeling sorry for myself. I look at my grandparents marriage, my grandpa cherished my grandma, and wonder where I went wrong. Why could I not make a choice for a life partner that I could have a marriage like my grandparents? Why did I choose someone who had no real life goals, that was controlling and abusive? That would not stand behind me to parent our kids? Who abused our oldest daughter, saying she wasn't his, when first of all, she looks just like him, second of all we married BEFORE she was born and I was pregnant with her. Seems she should have been accepted then, he knew I was pregnant and claimed her then but would not even consider a blood test to confirm it so he could stop the accusations.
Why , then , did I choose another "life partner" who could not even take care of himself , much less handle any responsibility that children bring?
Why ,now am I with another man, who seems to love the drama his ex wife brings to him? Who seems to think that it is ok for it to be the way it is. That wants to not do anything different in the way things are handled with her but tries to keep doing the same things in the same way...all the time. This game of theirs...back and forth.
I know I am not alone in wondering. Why did I drop out of high school? Why why why?
Is it because of how I was raised? Or just because of who I am? Am I just too dumb to make good choices? I just don't understand at all. Why do I do the dumb things I do?I just really don't understand at all.