so this is an old story, but i think relevant to the whole eharmony/neighbor thing.....(regarding why i may be a little gun shy).
i have a 12 year friendship with this guy....(yes, a man...and we're friends).
since we met one or both of us have always been in a relationship or married or something.
we've always been friends.
about a year ago......(that would have been three years post divorce at that point), we were out.
we always go out.
we get to dinner, order and before our drinks could arrive he says to me 'so, why didn't we ever get together?'
we're both single at this point.
i think about it and for the first time in my entire life say something so bold and out of character...'i don't know. maybe we should? look, why don't we just get out of here, go back to my place and see?"
i know! can you believe i said that?
he looks at me and holds up his hand and says 'check please.'
we leave.
we get in the car. silent. and start driving.
finally i say, 'you know, i don't have anything at my house, i think we need to stop and pick up some food and wine.'
we stop. get stuff. get back in car.
more silence.
we pull into my driveway and as i'm getting out of the car he turns to me and says 'i don't feel well, i think i need to go home.'
and off he goes.
i come into work the following monday and tell everyone and they proclaim him gay.
which he is not.
they say that i must not have been clear.
which i was.
they say well he must be gay.
which, again, he's not.
so.....i got turned down my first time out.
i say i freaked him out. we're friends. he doesn't want to ruin that.
i say, he's just not interested. doesn't think of me that way.
anyway, flash forward to last night. i'm driving home from work and he calls.
we always call each other and talk about whatever.
i remind him about this fiasco.
and he says 'what are you talking about? i don't remember that.'
so....not only was my first attempt back out there a failure, but it was so insignificant that he doesn't even remember it.'
but more to the point, friends and relationship don't mix....i think.
good grief.