It's the Beginning of the End I hope 

Today I saw my lawyer to answer the divorce papers I was served by my stbx. He is charging me with indignities. I had to laugh at that and at the same time feel sad because he is grasping at straws. I went into the lawyer's office with so much paperwork to back up my claims that she said ,"I'll bet you haven't done this much homework in almost 40 years." I have proof of indignities against me, documentation that he was a risk to my health and proof that he entered the marriage under false pretences. He had told me he served in Viet Nam and I didn't know until after we were married eight months that he was never even in the service. He also told me was financially stable and he was in financial ruin. I was able to prove that he said he was financially stable by finding the ad he had placed on aol that I met him through. Then I find an IRS form where he owed over $42000 in back taxes and was bankrupt and he never told me. He has left me in a financial disaster, physically and emotionally at my lowest that I even attempted suicide twice and thought about it again and has made me doubt that I will ever want to be in another relationship again. Even after he filed the divorce papers he has kept e-mailing me begging me to take him back. And yet after all of this and everything he put me through, his alcoholism, his raging temper, his mood swings and his habitual lies, I find myself feeling sorry for him. He has driven everyone out of his life. he has five brothers and sisters, including a twin, none of whom will speak to him. His only two sons want nothing to do with him. The only person he has is a nephew that recently moved here from Florida and he is already angry with him. He had asked his nephew to pick up a whole list of things that he wanted me to return to him and it took his nephew most of the day. When his nephew delivered the stuff, my stbx threw 90% of it in the dumpster. He just didn't want me to have it. So now his nephew sees what kind of person he is and tries to stay away as much as he can. I know I shouldn't feel sorry for him after everything he did to me. He did this to himself. He caused the trouble between his family and his sons and himself. He has got to carry the burden of blame. I guess what I am feeling comes from my years of working in a nursing home and seeing all those old people who had no one to come and visit them. My heart used to go out to them, especially on holidays when they were all alone with not one person who cared. I think I am looking into the future and I am seeing my stbx in the same situation, alone with no one who cares. No one deserves a life like that. But then I stop and think those people in the nursing home had no choice in the matter that they had no family left. My stbx drove away his children, grandchildren, sisters and brothers and friends. Maybe he is the one who should be sitting and thinking about why he is alone. But I am not that kind of person. I am a human being with a heart. He is going to grow to be a lonely old man. I may never get involved in another relationship, but I have my family,my children, my grandchildren, my stepchildren that asked if they could still call me mom after the divorce,my stepgrandchildren, and my friends. I'd say I came out the winner even before the divorce has been settled.