My exercising on the treadmill is already working. I woke up at 5:30 this morning ready to get moving. I'm feeling somewhat better about myself. As I walked out the door to feed I could see the black birds in the sky and the blue jays have been chasing each other from tree to tree. The deer had been playing in the Dressage Ring. There were deer tracks every where. They must have played tag with each other.
There was a heavy dew on the grass and I could see the tracks my boys had made as they grazed in the field. They never quite walk a straight line. They will walk 6 strides one way and then 3 strides another. It looks like a huge snake had slithered thru the grass. I now have all the weeds and grass pulled out of the edge of the roundpen.
I walked a mile on the treadmill this morning while I talked to a friend. She was on her way to work at Books a Millon. She found they were still hiring and did I want to apply. She would put in a good word for me. I have worked two jobs and did both well. But I did it for us. To fill up empty time until my ex would be home on R&R.There is no us anymore; I just don't know if I can do it. The money would certainly beef up my dwindling savings but it would limit the work I can do here.
I have been washing horsey clothing too. There are nine saddle pads stretched across the deck rail trying to dry. Usually they dry quickly but not today. I put Lucy's picnic table together and it is out by the roundpen with her other Little Tikes toy. Took all of two minutes to snap together after I pinched my fingers trying to get the seat to snap in place.
I have azaleas trying to bloom. They usually don't bloom until October. I have the new kind that bloom twice a year. So usually on Thanksgiving I have azaleas in bloom. Then I'm sick of seeing them bloom and praying for a frost.
I really like this site but sometimes someone will post something that brings up a memory I thought I had forgotten. I wish not to remember. Then I have to work thru it all over again. I don't know how to handle that. There are a ton of things I just don't want to work thru. They hurt too much and are still too fresh. Yes, I have been seeing a counselor. He keeps tellling me none of this was my fault because my ex married me intending to cheat and use me instead of being in a comitted relationship.
And this damn holiday weekend is coming up. I always seem to let a holiday slip up on me. And then I am scrambling to find something to do. I hate seeing families about town on a holiday. Will I ever get over that? How do I get over that?