Last night I got up at 2:00 sweating and crying. I am feeling so stressed out. I want to run way and hide. Now I know why people don't get divorce this is so overwhelming. I hurt all over and I am extremely exhausted and depressed.
First issue my stbx has been pleading with me to sit down with him making me feel very guilty for not wanting to work with him. It hard to work with a controller. I tried to sit down with him before it was not good. I am going to be fair I always have.
Second issue the house I am living in has a lot of issue.Carpenter ants eating house and the basement floods are just few issues. The house is very old and it needs a lot of work. My friend owns it and are trying to sell it so I am doing them a favor living there. They are charging me cheap rent. I only wanted to live there until my stbx starts paying child support. It will be 6 months on Sept 9th since I have left no child support yet. My friends live in California and they were visiting Mi. They did not make plans to come visit me but they made plans to have dinner with my stbx. They also check out the house without me there. She had emailed me yesterday and told me they would like to change the contract. I have a 30 day contract and I am not sure what they want to do. It either we need to raise the rent or you need to find a place in 30 days. I do want to move I am was just waiting for school to starts which is next week. I have never felt comfortable in this house I am always gone. I had spoke to neighbors one day and they had no idea I had been there since March. I don't know why I am getting upset I don't care for this house. I think it maybe that I want to make the change in my own time.
Third issue On Monday I have Pre trail. I don't feel my lawyer is prepare and it very difficult time getting a hold of her. She could not find the paper work I file out and now I have to file it out again. I will have to try to meet up with before we go to pre-trail. I don't know why this is stressing me out!
Right now I feel like crap and unworthy. I just want this to be over. I don't think I have the strength anymore. I am so tired of crying and worrying.
Shock