The big day.. 

I too had the big day saturday.  I told him that morning and he moved out after work that day.  I just feel like the bad guy even though he was verbally abusive, and narcissisitic.  All his problems were my fault.  Took the last verbal beating Friday night and made the decision.  Now that he's gone 1 day he's already calling and wanting to spend "quality time together."  Which is even more confusing because I was right under his nose and he couldn't be nice to me.  I don't feel it's healthy for me to spend time like that with him.  I miss the great guy I fell in love with, but that's not him.  We are planning on counseling, and I think that's the only time we should spend together for now, until it's decided that it's hopeless(i don't think people can change), but I would like marriage counseling to at least get everything out there, and maybe find out the why's as to his behavior.  And yes I let him do it to me, as all abused people do, being an enabler.  I haven't cried since saturday, and am starting to feel a little better.  I hate what he did to me, but my head is trying to talk my gut out of what's right.  "I know that good guy is still in there",  "what if i should give it one more chance?(our 2nd separation), "did i do the right thing?"  I almost have to get mad all over again to remember why I did this and it is for myself.  I hurt for him and the years of pain for me.  How do ya get over it?  When does normal come back?  When do you stop feeling like the bad guy?

No woman deserves to feel threatened in any manner and no child needs to grow up in a home where violence and abuse of any kind is taking place. Whether your self-esteem is the issue or not, think of your kids and do what's right for them. It's right for you too so don't belabor the notion that you need to stay for any reason. Your husband will never change unless or until he decides he wants to and that won't come while he is abusing you. Get out even if it means going to a battered women's shelter. You have been given sage advice already. Please for your sake and your kids, follow it.
Ken

Thanks you for your words of encouragement mommyof2youngkidz, it really helps to hear from someone who has already went through it. To hear that things really can be alot better. Thank you.