I am scared of really,
really to
move on...
We discuss things because they need to be discussed and talked thru before we split and before I leave - but we are still
just spinning in the same circle; not really coming to conclusion, and not really apologizing and not really understanding what
we did wrong. I know what he did wrong. And he knows what I did wrong. And that is it. And we know we can't live together
happily ever after - and that there is no other way round it. I know I need to leave - but still I am scared.
I am so scare of moving on!
For example ; I was by the computer to make a change of address notification for my home country... so that it would be done
when I get there, and so that I could jump right into work and get money...
But I couldn't do it yet. Instead I went to my husband (stbx) and asked
- Do you really think I am doing the right thing here now? I need to leave?
Now, why would I ask that?? Why am I going back there??? Why am I still questioning it all, although I know better than that???
So he asked me to relax - and I am trying to relax - and figure out why it is so pitifully diffcult to be strong and move on. I owe it to myself.