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I keep on digging - but I am scared!!! 

I am scared of really, really to move on...

We discuss things because they need to be discussed and talked thru before we split and before I leave - but we are still

just spinning in the same circle; not really coming to conclusion, and not really apologizing and not really understanding what

we did wrong. I know what he did wrong. And he knows what I did wrong. And that is it. And we know we can't live together

happily ever after - and that there is no other way round it. I know I need to leave - but still I am scared.

 

I am so scare of moving on!

 

For example ; I was by the computer to make a change of address notification for my home country... so that it would be done

when I get there, and so that I could jump right into work and get money...

But I couldn't do it yet. Instead I went to my husband (stbx) and asked

- Do you really think I am doing the right thing here now? I need to leave?

Now, why would I ask that?? Why am I going back there??? Why am I still questioning it all, although I know better than that???


 

So he asked me to relax - and I am trying to relax - and figure out why it is so pitifully diffcult to be strong and move on. I owe it to myself.


by Janie  14 Posts 

Posted on 8/21/2008 3:29 PM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Comments for "I keep on digging - but I am scared!!!"  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)
Janie~
There was not even a discusion for me.....he just  p and left, his affair started again last fall....he denied the rumors, made me feel like a dumb ass for even questioning it....Told me 'it was n my head, " (it was always in my head)...Lies lies lies and more lies....Not even capable of "Maning p to ehat he did" That threw me in a downward spiral......Then had a po put on me so I couldn't even contact him! What a piece of shit!
by __STRIKER__   605 Posts
Posted on 8/22/2008 6:17 AM
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Yeah, of course the kids suffer - but they suffer even more if you are suffering. You need to stay healthy and happy to be a good parent - and respect not only yourself but also the other parent...
by Janie   14 Posts
Posted on 8/21/2008 5:17 PM
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I want to know what about the kids. Its hard enough on the adults but what about the kids. I try to make him be in their life but I get no where. Now we are moving and I feel guilty because its an hour and fifteen mins. away. He only sees them once a month by his choice and only calls twice a week. all my friends and family tell me that Im doing the right thing but I still feel bad. I know i shouldnt because all his exuses are lame. The kids are the ones that suffer the most no matter what and that just sucks.
by 660197   2 Posts
Posted on 8/21/2008 4:17 PM
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