Where do I start?? 

Emotional or Physical abuse is a terrible ordeal. I don't necessarily agree that someone can't change but they don't have a chance to change unless they admit their abuse and really honestly give a damn. Even then changing the dynamic of the relationship they have had with their spouse/lover is the biggest challenge a person will ever undertake. A lot of times the abuser sees the problems as being the other person's and not themselves. It takes soul searching to uncover the truth for themselves. Just because someone doesn't drink everyday or only once a week does not mean they do not have a problem. Some times they can bury their issues for a while and need the drinks when their coping mechanisms reach the straining point. Then they tend to drink to excess, feel guilt and terrible unhappiness for everything, and take it out on those closest to them. My wife continued to search for ways to "fix" our marriage. She tried to do things for me. It was never enough in her mind. In my mind it wasn't either. I wanted her to make me happy. I placed all of my happiness at her feet. It was her fault that I could not be happy. I only finally listened to her after she had exhausted everything she had for me. Now it is too late for any change to matter. But I am changing to make sure that I do not allow my behaviour to interfer with co parenting and any future relationships. Abusers will do all sorts of things to keep control of you. They usually are so unhappy with themselves that their focus is to fix their partner. I checked computer history and cookies. Put spyware on computer so I could get her email password. Listened into phone conversations from the hallway. All in attempt to control the only part of my life I felt I could control.
 
Not knowing what your husband is capable it is difficult to give advice when you really may be in danger. My gut is saying get safe and then try and steer him to abuse sites. here is one....     http://www.abusivelove.com/AbusiveLove_6_1.h