School Drama 

Here we go again...

Every year it's the same thing.  Mark (kids' father) decides he wants to be involved in their school decisions.  This time it's even more meaningful because I have decided that I am placing the boys in an all boy's academy which of course is private.

This isn't some whim I am having. I have researched this to the point where I can actually quote statistical data.  When I started thinking about this, I called Mark and told him.  His response was: 1) a private school wasn't necessary 2) did this mean he was going to have to give me more money 3) why did I want the kids to go to private school when there were plenty of good public schools.  I had an answer to each of his questions.  He didn't seem that interested after a few conversations and so I continued on my research.

I made the decision to place them in the private academy.  Guess what?  Mark now says he doesn't want them there because of multiple reasons (none of which make sense to me because he doesn't have any facts to back them up).  I am not an unreasonable person at least I try not to be.  I will listen to anything anyone has to say and will allow myself to change my mind if I am given facts.  Mark doesn't believe in that.  He believes that it's his way or none at all.

He has a slight problem.  When we got divorced, I was given the right to make these types of decisions and at that time Mark didn't really want to keep fighting me so he gave in.  This does not mean that I don't listen to him and share my decisions with him.  He is their father and I want him to stay involved.  I believe that if I keep him in the loop then he has no excuse although it doesn't always work out that way.

He has called me about 10 times saying things like this:  “you are doing this to spite me”, “I am their father and I have a say in their education”, “you want to raise them like you were raised and let me remind you that wasn’t so great”, “this is a slap in the face to me and my family”, and my all-time favorite “private school won’t make them any smarter just look in the mirror”.  I listened and then politely told him to go to hell.

I have said before that the only person in Mark’s family that I consider decent is his father.  Naturally, Mark had his dad call me to, according to his father, talk some sense into me. I explained to his father what my reasons were and he agreed with me.  He just wished it was a Christian academy.  Well, I didn’t even get into that with him.  Religion in Mark’s family is the untouchable subject and I was in that family long enough to have learned my lesson.  Now I understand what Mark meant by “slap in the face for his family” -- that was his mother talking.  

So his plan to have his father call me didn’t quite work out the way he expected and now he is mad at his father.  Because that is how he handles things when he doesn’t get his way.  He gets mad.  

Sometimes I wish he would just move away.  He is more of a nuisance than help.  The first day of school is quickly approaching and I know that Mark is going to make a big deal out of it.  I really can’t stand him and as much as I want to have a civil relationship with him, I can’t.  I am emotionally incapable because there’s a part of me that hasn’t forgotten all the things he did to me and that makes me not want to ever hear his voice much less see his face.

And that makes me sad.