Pastor
Vernon C. Lyons is a Baptist pastor with strong feelings on marriage. As a
counselor to couples in his parish, he's come up with seven rules to save a
marriage.
The
rules break up into two categories: before marriage and after. The before marriage rules include advice like
"don't marry." Lyons believes that not everyone should marry, and he
means "at all" not necessarily just to each other. He also suggests
delaying the marriage. Get to know each
other. Like delaying, he says another
rule is to prepare for marriage. Spend
time in marriage preparing classes, learn about the pitfalls others face, so
when you see them in your own marriage you won't fall prey.
Once
you're married, he suggests that the 50/50 concept of marriage is all wrong,
because invariably, somebody always feels like the other person isn't keeping
up with their 50 percent. Lyons says to
go into marriage 100 percent.
Concentrate on giving, and no on what the other person isn't holding
up. Similarly, work on your marriage
from your side. Don't try to change or
fix your partners short comings, work on your problems..
Lyons
also suggests watching out for danger zones.
Family is a big one. He says that
some people get married to get away from their family, only to find that
they've taken on even more family. If
you don't like your in-laws, don't stand between them and your spouse. You'll only build resentment towards
yourself. Find a balance and a
compromise.
Finally,
he says to avoid the idea that "if it doesn't work, we can always get a
divorce." If it's an available
option, then it's easier than working things out. Sooner or later, when things
are tough, somebody is going to take it.
Will
these rules work for you? Pastor Lyons believes they will.
Source:
www.opprairie.com