acceptance and first trip to the lawyer 

well, I know I havent posted in a while. I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. We are NEVER going to get back together and I dont even mind. At first I wanted to try to save the relationship but the more I thought about it the more I was convinced that its for the best. Not only for me but the kids too. I cant keep living like that. He is so self obsorbed. Why didnt I see it before? Now all he's concerned about now is money. He even wanted to do sep. papers online!! HA! What a joke! We are 2 payments behind on the mortgage and the car payment but yet he went out and spent $183.00 at Outback Steak house with his buddies. Im so sick of his shit. I am ready to get out on my own. The kids are giving me a hard time I am going to get them into therapy ASAP. My first appt with the lawyer is today. wish me luck. I had cervical cancer while I was pregers with our 5 yr old and was on his insurance, we would get the bills and he would throw them away!. He says he's not paying for any of those bills. I wonder what the lawyer is gonna say about that? I am sick of being depressed but some days are better than others. I am putting my faith in the Lord and putting it all in his hands. It feels good to give it up to Him.