Why do i keep holding on? 

WHYdo i keep holding on?Thats a good question.I guess because all i ever wanted wag a family.MY wife first got pregnant in highschool.She was 17 i was 18 it changed me and the way i looked at life all together.I was into some not so good stuff,when he was born i knew i had to do some things different for him and for my self.It was not until 6 years later l we got married after we found out she was pregnant with my second son.Not just because she was pregnant again,because we loved each other.We stayed together for almost ten years.We had so many  good times,but we had a lot of bad to.(like any marriage)I was a proud husband and father,for a lot of years.About 5 years ago she left me,it didn't last long maybe four months,she came back.She had left this letter about how she just wanted to think about herself,she didn't want to be a wife or mother any more.Everyone told me if she did it once it will happen again,but i could not give up on my family.So i took her back.(for the wrong reasons)almost five years later we are in the same situation all over again.Basically the same note and behavior all over again.I guess they were rite.Well even now as i wait for my divorce papers,when we talk i feel like i could slip rite back into the same old all to familiar poussin.Why do i keep holding on?