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When You Just Can't "Move On" 

 Many times during a divorce, well meaning friends and relatives will tell you that you need to "get over it" and move on already. They see you in pain and naturally want to help you, but sometimes comments like that can make you feel even more alone and depressed.

 

 I don't think anyone can understand what it is like to go through a divorce unless they have been through one themselves. And then it depends on what kind of divorce they had. A person who resolves their issues amicably with their spouse and remains friends after the divorce is going to have a much easier time recovering than someone who is embroiled in a nasty divorce battle.

 

 I remember clearly those awful days during my divorce where I would literally feel sick to my stomach. It seemed like the pain would never go away. The divorce consumed my life at the time and wondered if I would ever feel good again.

 

Thankfully, those feelings passed, but it took time. If you are suffering right now with the pain of divorce and feel like no one understands, it is important to remember that people who have not gone through the trauma of divorce might not be able to offer you much support emotionally.

 

 A divorce support group is a good option if you want to be with others who you can relate to. You will "move on" and let go eventually of this pain and agony, but it is not going to happen overnight. Give yourself permission to grieve. There will be a day someday soon where you will find that your divorce is not the first thing you think about every day. It will start to fade into the background of your life and you will begin to feel better. The key is to not rush yourself through your emotions right now, but work through them so that you can let them go.

 

Find out how to protect yourself and your children during a divorce....

by Christina-Rowe  252 Posts 

Posted on 7/26/2008 1:08 AM
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Tags: divorce recovery , pain of divorce , getting over a divorce , divorce advice for women ,
effects of divorce
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Comments for "When You Just Can't "Move On""  (1) (You must be logged in to answer)




You are absolutely right. Anyone dumb enough to suggest you move on should be recognized as someone who has no idea how to work through pain. I have seen people fall apart over things that happened decades before because they never spent the requisite time grieving in the first place. I was in a grief group after losing my son and remember hearing a woman talk about her live-in boy friend who kept telling her to move on after she lost her daughter. I couldn't offer advice because the group's rules forbade that, but I did suggest she might want to be with people who are sensitive enough to understand grief and pain and loss.
You're a smart woman and you already know what too few people seem to, that to work through any loss takes time and hard work. Shame on anyone stupid enough to suggest they know anything about your pain.
Ken Solin
by kensolin   102 Posts
Posted on 7/26/2008 7:39 PM
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