It really stuck with me when Diva said that.  I'm sure I handled it wrong.  I was angry and so was she.  I told her to go ahead and leave.  I'd help her pack.  Not one of my finer parening moments. 

They should tell you when you decide to become a mom how hard it is to raise them when they are teens. I talked to my friends at knitting circle about it.  I talked to my family.  I still really don't know how I should have handled it.  There were two schools of thought about it.  But the vote on how hard it is raisng a teen was unanomous. 

Wear your body armour and hard hat.  Sleep with one eye open.  These are some tough years to go through.  And it's normal to feel like you are living in a war zone.

Theory one:  Tell your teen you wish she didn't feel that way.  Tell her you won't hold her back if she really wants to go live with her dad, but you love her very much and she's always welcome home. 

Theory two:  Tell your teen that your are sorry she feels that way, but she is going to stay with you.  You love her very much and it hurts you to know she wants to leave.  Let her know that you are going to give both of you time to cool down and then you'll talk again about it and the fight.

They both sound really good.  I wish I'd been calm enough to use one.  Instead, being the hot head I am, I used a modified version of number one.  I told her to pack her bags and call her dad.  Like I said, not one of my finer moments. When we both calmed down, I apologized and she did too. 

 I saw some glimpses of my little girl in the eyes of that teen that just a couple hours ago was a screaming, crying stranger.  Maybe this teen age emotional war zone will calm down soon, but I'm not emptying out the bunker just yet.