HELLO GANG!!
Not alot going on here. Things are going pretty smooth right now in my life except the fact I have no friggin job and seem to be un employable. NICE if only I could get paid for sitting on my ass....... I would make a fortune in over time!!
Hubbys work cut the over time. SUX financially but emotionaly it is good for me. He really needs to find something else soon. Hopefully something closer so gas prices dont hurt and traffic is easier. I still dont trust her. And I have trust for him but..... it all started at work and I never would have guessed it. Like I said, different departments but there are times when the depts have to work together. Makes me very un easy. I am sure others there also thought something was not right, the friendship was crossing a line when one of the friends are married and the other is needy. I just don't like it one bit.
I have been having fucked up dreams too. Last night I dreamt that his mom was here to pick up him and the baby and she ws taking them to CANADA. I took the kids and stole my aunts jeep and hid in an abandoned old house my friend used to live in years ago. Scared the shit out of me. I woke up heart pounding and as I moved he put his arm around me, I didnt even realize he was there and it was a dream untill that moment. I have alot of those dreams. The ones where he is leaving or left and has his friends as I sit home crying. WOW must have done some serious damage to my brain. I worry about being emotionaly retarded now. Do I love to much or to little? Am I good enough? Can I keep him happy? Does he really love me? Why did he leave? Why did he come back? I have some low self esteem these days I guess. I worry about how I look more than I used to. Hell, I just worry more. I wouldn't meet him at the store the other day because I spent the afternoon swimming and had frizzyhair and no make up on. The old me wouldn't have had a second thought on going. I don't know who I am trying NOT to embarrass but I have to have a face full of make up and smooth hair for me to leave my house most of the time. My doing, not his.
SEE!! TOLD YOU I WAS FUCKED UP. He NEVER at all ever mentioned that I should "spruce up" a bit and here I am now. Waiting for my hair to dry so I can straighten it. Cant dry it cause it would get too frizzy. LOL I am loosing my mind and I turned into a girl ! Oh well, we will see what kind of answers get pulled out of the hat in therapy.
Good bye all. Have a great afternoon.