Contempt 

My ex husband has lived in Tennessee for quite a long time. He fled the state to chase his wife and hasn't been back. He left behind two very hurt and confused boys, not to mention, over $40,000 in back child support. Since then, I have come to terms with life and did what I had to for survival. Recently, he came back into town secondary to family issues and his father passing away. When he is out of the state, I'm not really fazed by him because I no longer think about the things he has done to my children. We have been divorced a long time and the kids are almost grown. However, Ive noticed that with him being back in the states, my feeling of contempt for him are just below the surface. I have never met anyone that feels as sorry for Kevin as he does for himself. He is always hosting a pity party and wants everyone to attend. I say bullshit to that. He took the easy way out, and while doing so, left me without child support and having to explain to two very small children where there father went. I don't understand how someone can father two children and then not have the decency to be a Dad. I have been receiving child support for the past 6 years but that wasn't from his giving it up willingly. I had to fight for it and in the meantime, ended up getting screwed by Supportkids just so that I could have money to raise my children. The thing I don't get, he was adopted. You would think that someone who has no blood relatives to speak of would go above and beyond to love and care for his offspring's. Nope, not in his case. My oldest has formed a relationship with him. I think he has forgiven him to a point but he has not forgotten anything. My youngest still isn't quite sure what to do or think and that upsets me. They shouldn't have to deal with emotions like that. Anyway, the anger is at the surface now because of the contempt I feel for him and the only thing I could think to do was write about it. That should make me feel better, right?