Just got off the phone with stbx. He called to ask me " If I'm gonna hate him forever" what an Idiot!, for someone who thinks he's so smart. I don't hate anyone. I know this because, there have been people who have done some pretty bad things to me and yet I still talk to them. We may not be the best of friends but I don't hate. I can not hate because I have the ability to FORGIVE. I am the person I get the most upset with, ME! for allowing, accepting, and condoning sometimes some pretty unacceptable things.
MY stbx told me tonight that I give up too easily. My response was that Giving up on my marriage was actually the opposite. Giving up was actually very hard. He told me that I cant accept people for who they are. My response was that I don't have to accept people for who they are. I don't have to accept a drug user, alcoholic, and abuser. I don't and I won't.
I realize that I have become a very quite person. I keep my opinions to myself and I know why I do this. It's because of him. It's because I never agreed with anything that came out of his mouth and voicing my opinion would always cause a fight and not voicing it led him to believe that I somehow agreed of believed he was right. damn if you do damn it you don't.
He asked if I was happy. I told him I'm working on it. He actually tried to take credit for me having the courage to leave by saying that he always encouraged me to go after what I wanted. Can you believe this man?
I feel sorry for him I really do. The call ended on a bad note, a hang up note on my part. But I have to forget because by the morning he will already have. I can forgive, cant forget and don't hate.
I'm gonna learn to express myself and communicate more effectively. This site has really helped me with that.
Thank you all.