Search our site
divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

profile
Community  :: mtnvly's Stuff  :: mtnvly's Blog

mtnvly is excited about the skins game Sunday!
  click here 
Personal Tags
ADVERTISING PARTNERS


Blogs
You can search for Blogs by tag here:


Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here

Blog


Go Figure 

A little back ground...I have 4 kids , one of which is 26 . She was married young .

I remarried about 2 months before her and started working for my new husbands mother. She owns her own business. After a while my daughter also came to work for the company.

Issues arose with the situation, my husband and I separated. My boss/mother in law who is a huge control freak , became difficult to work for. My daughter and I decided to start our own company.

I had to leave the business before our planned time because of issues with my now ex mother in law. The plan became for me to get the business up and running and my daughter would join. My daughter decided to stay with my ex mother in law as she was afraid that the new company would not support 2 families.

Well , my business boomed. My income was double what I had ever made before for the first year. The next year it doubled again...

My daughter and her husband were not on speaking terms with me at this point. I am sure my ex mother in law was helping with that situation . She is like that.

About a year later , my daughter and her husband split. She had found someone else. One of the affairs that begins as emotional and proceeds to intimacy. I felt for my son in law.We talked. At this time , my daughter owned half of the company that I used to work for( one of my ex mother in laws ploys to get her to stay) and my son in law had been working for them also . He wanted to work for me. I said ok, at that time I had one full time employee and we were swamped. I knew they could not work together anymore and she was half owner so she could not leave.

Now for the rest of the story...he made it sound as my daughter was to blame of course..she did this and that. You know, the ONE side of the story. He and my employee became good friends. She is married , btw. They would spend weekends at bars and at his house. Much of their free time was spent together. I told both of them the relationship was not good. All they said was WE ARE JUST GOOD FRIENDS!!

Well, I had to fire her because she was just not working out. Too many mistakes and she would not listen to what she was told to do. In fact , she argued about it. I at one point even asked, WHo writes your paycheck????

That was on a Friday last fall. The next Monday he said he was starting his own company. I said ok...what ever .

Of course she works for him but also has a job at a car parts store. They are still together...

I found out this week that they are now living together. She has feelings for him . I knew he was in love with her. But now, after all that they said about my daughter, they have done it to her husband.

They spend their weekends drinking  and partying. Her husband went to boot camp and really wanted her to stop drinking so much. She is an alcoholic.

Why on earth would they bash someone for something then do the same thing? To me..that makes what they have done worse! They both were warned of the dangers but that fell on deaf ears.

I might get to see them in the morning. She texted me that there are things at his house that belong to my family. I have no desire to be associated with them. I plan on picking the stuff up early after requesting that it be put on the carport.

The sad thing is that I was so stupid to believe the things he told me about my daughter. After they were gone from my business, my daughter and I were able to reconcile things.

After I saw how he is, found out what he had done, I apologized to my daughter . I told her I was sorry I was an idiot and I have to learn everything the hard way.That will never happen again. You know, we learn how to parent on our firstborn. I even apologized that she was the one I learned on.

 I had a journal entry a few weeks ago about divorce. This is the reason I said to listen with both ears and not to take sides. To hear BOTH sides and realize there is a lot of things that go on  behind closed doors. The type of things she was putting up with are inexcusable. I do not condone her affair at all. But I understand why she did it.

Go figure.....

 

by mtnvly  1761 Posts 
Posted on 7/18/2008 9:33 AM
Sent to Friendsend to friend
0

Tags:
<< Previous Post  |  Blog posts by mtnvly  |  Next Post >>


Comments for "Go Figure"  (2) (You must be logged in to answer)




I am SO glad also. I have missed her so much. It has been very good to again have her as a part  of her life. An added point is that her boyfriend has the cutest sweetest little 3 year old girl. I would not expect to be called grandma but sure am enjoying hearing her giggle and the pitter patter of little feet. It is so much fun shopping for her.
As I said before , be careful what you believe and what you say in these situations. You just never know. Listen with both ears and don't take sides. Another one of my many lifes lessons...as usual I learn the hard way!
by mtnvly   1761 Posts
Posted on 7/18/2008 4:56 PM
Log in to Add Friends
0





Many people hear the word "affair" and are very fast to place blame. I think this is common. What no one ever stops to concider are the reasons behind such things. I'm not saying I condone extramarital affairs I'm just saying that perhaps none of us should judge without having all the facts. Most of which will never be known to the "outside world" because they happened within the home of the married individuals. I'm glad you were able to patch the relationship with your daughter!
by itmustbeme   422 Posts
Posted on 7/18/2008 11:40 AM
Log in to Add Friends
0







Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

expand information center