She is acting so much like oh life will be oh so wonderful for both of us after the divorce. I am just numb. I can;t stop randomly crying like a child these last 2 days. My day today is a little better but not much. I do not even trust my moods anymore as this has been the most screwed up event to ever happen to me. It was a bad year all the way around. It feels lonely, isolated, it sucks! Most of my friends are all married happily ever after and one just did get married after divorcing several years before from his then wife. I do not know what to say for myself. You look in the world and it trys so hard to say hey "everyone is happy" "everyone has it all together".. But as much as I wish that the case for a lot of us it is not at times.
Is it natural for me to blame myself for everything even though it was not all my fault?
I want her happy. I want my stepson happy. I suspect now to there might be someone else she is hiding from me. I am to much into denial to even go there. I told her if there ever was "I do not want to know about" and I told her I would do the same if I met someone in the future. You gents and ladies who have been cheated on I am so sorry. I know that pain has to be unbearable.
It has been very hard to hold my career together over this. I get tired of faking. It has seemed so easy to just go to a bar and drink myself into oblivion. I do not and will not do that. But God it is tempting. Everything seems so up in the air right now. It really sucks! All of it does.
Does this grief last forever? Does it ever go away? Anyone here who has been through worse and met someone better? That made them feel whole again? You know the " I am glad I divorced or I would have never met he/she types?" If so please share.
Thank You