I didn't get much sleep last night - Retainer the Retriever took issue with being penned in the kitchen for the night. The blue fuzzy toy and puppy chews gave her little comfort. I finally gave in around 3am and shoved the cage into the bedroom with us.
My hubby woke up to the commotion, didn't help, just laid there in bed laughing at me...ok more a quiet chuckle....but it felt like he was full on laughing at me.
She quieted down, with the exception of the gnawing - then the cute puppy snore...
ANYYYYWAAAYYYY
So I get to the office with the puppy, all of my employees were oooo ahhh awww eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee she's peeing on the carpet! Take her out! Take her out! (Note to self: pick up partner's dry cleaning Friday and pay the bill)
I wish I could post a picture of the floppy eared, doe eyed, heartbreaker. One of my assistants tied a cute pink doggie bandana around her neck. And for the morning she was flopping around the office going from desk to desk...she likes to tip over garbage cans and run around with crumpled paper.
I had my assistant call my client to ensure he was still coming - I had a dream last night that he kept skipping the appointment then just told me to mail the file. Retainer wouldn't fit in the envelope and she'd probably chew the box from the inside out reeking havoc at the postal distribution center so that would just not do. (nooooooo, I wouldn't really mail the dog...geez!) Thank goodness, he said he would be there.
So, he shows up, he's sitting in my waiting area and the receptionist gives me the heads up - we all scramble to clean up the mess Retainer made all over the main area and I settle into my office looking busy and trying really hard to get the "I'm up to something" trademark smirk I get (hence why I'd never have a career in professional card playing) and hope that Retainer doesn't start yipping, like she has been doing all morning, while she is being hidden away in the copy room.
I turn on my I-pod docking station for insurance...(Note to self: tell children to not download Alvin & the Chipmunks onto mommy's I-pod, even if it was a joke)
So he is brought back to my office, I can see him being walked as I'm at the back end of the general area where the assistants are and as he passes I can see them all with my same smirk, a few giggles...this is a gooshy day at the firm of Spaz.
He comes in, we have some banter, ask him how he's doing, he's lonely in his new space, not much there - etc & so on...it's too quiet without the kids all the time - doesn't feel like home, yadda yadda...I keep coughing a bit so I have an excuse to cover my mouth when I smile while he is telling me he is miserable.
I tell him I'm pretty busy today so if he doesn't mind I'm going to step out and grab his file myself so he can be on his way...here, let me turn the music up for you a bit...it's a good song. (yeah...right)
Like I was going to give away the moment to an assistant...pfffft.
I go get Retainer, and now she has her leash on, which she is completely unsure of, so the walk back to my office was a mixture of gymnastics and tug o war...I was cracking up. So was the entire office so I was hoping he just thought we had some sort of office joke going on...and that we weren't laughing at him.
So, I open up my office door a bit and stick my head in, he's sitting there facing my desk, back to me - I said "I'm back" and he turns around and sees me...and this beige strap going outside the door that keep moving...
I get a really bizarre look from him...as I coax Retainer into my office...she actually summersaults in over the leash - totally stealing my thunder...figures she has to be the center of attention....
and I deliver my line, flawlessly I might add.....
"I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to take your retainer back, it keeps peeing on my carpet"
A couple of my assistants file in carrying the rest of the puppy's belongings (including a couple of doggie outfits that one of the assistants just had to buy...rolling eyes)
He's sitting there, dumbstruck...as Retainer continues her acrobatic routine, then he stammered something, not sure what, sounded like eeebbbeee ewe ubba me? So I held out the leash...and someone said "happy divorce" and he started to well up, then that made my assistant well up, so that made me well up - and we all were blubbering and in between the tears of happiness, thank you's you're welcome's showing all of Retainer's things...
she pooped on the floor....
and when we noticed the smell and everyone was kinda standing there...
and I look at him and go "What? She's your dog."
Her new name is Dakota - but to me, she will always be Retainer....