Okay this is my second try. I had everything all written, hit submit and it went to computer heaven or hell. Where ever lost postings go.
Today was a full day. Farrier at 8, lessons at 11 and 12. The farrier was late. The boys were good. I wish I could get shoes every 6 weeks. The boarder horses' owner came by with next months check. Just as I needed to get ready to ride. That's alright; I'll take that check right to the bank tomorrow.
I gathered up Zee to get him tacked up. As I was walking down the lane I was looking at the oaks. I will lose some of them from this two year drought. The leaves are a pale yellow green. I already know I need to take down four trees by the storage shed. They are rotting at the bottom.
My trainer arrived just as I was getting on Zee. Her baby daughter is always with her. Lucy's wading pool was filled and her toys dumped in. My farm is Lucy friendly. My lesson is great. I'm trotting circles when I hear a screech. I know that sound. I look up and a hawk is flying around up high in the sky. My farm gets silent. Not a bird sound anywhere. I can only hear the wind thru the trees. The lessons were good and Lucy is sleepy. She is packed away in her mother's car and they are off to give another lesson.
I finally got the big field out back finished. The mowing was rough. The rows are still in that field. We couldn't totally get them out. So that field will beat you to death as you are mowing. 7 acres of throwing you this way and tossing you the other. I dislike that field more than the one out front. I don't get good thoughts when I mow that field. Three more fields to mow and I can start over.
There was a little brown bird following my Zee around. Wherever he went the little brown bird was by his side. It was a hoot to watch. He didn't go near Joe. Only Zee. He is a special horse. Even my farrier's son said he liked him. The horse does project a good presence.
I fought thoughts of my ex all day. I know I should just let it happen. But I don't like where those thoughts lead. I now realize our marriage was a lie on his part. The whole 33 years a well planned lie. I need to understand how and why. But he did because he could. He's real good at fooling people. It's not easy to put anything over on me. My therapist says none of this was my fault. Then why does it feel like it was? I should have known what he was. I was raised around a family bar. I was working in one by the time I was 17. Why can't he just get out of my mind?
I still need to pick peas and feed all the horses, cats and the dog. I'm always the last one to eat. More mowing for me tomorrow. If I'm tired enough I will sleep tonight.