the right time to say it is when you have your ducks in a row. You have copies of all the important financial paperwork, you have the kids birth certificates, ss cards, your personal info, copies of taxes, credit cards, bank statements, mortgage - (there are lists here on the site about what to put together) out of the house and in a safe place.

 

You have contacted and retained a competent attorney -

 

you have a distinct plan of action - as to where you are going to live if you are choosing to be the one to move. (but don't move until your divorce is filed and you are protected financially)

 

then you talk to them about it.

That's hard. I know what you mean abou the yelling and stuff, it's taken so many attempts to tell my husband that I'm not happy, same thing, shouting, crying, sounds like yours is more aggressive then mine though. That's a huge burden for you not to have the support of your family, I feel for you so much. Do you have any support from friends? What's all this shit about him not wanting you to work? If I can't work I loose all my sense of focus and identity, childcare doesn't do kids any harm and will bring back your confidence and idependence. Sounds like you need to draw strength from every source possible right now. I'm just pissing around waiting for the right time to say it but there never seems to be one! I'm sure we'll get there eventually. lol.

See our relationship is different.  Everyone says that we are the perfect couple, but thats only what they see on the outside and thats not what counts.  I can always put the happy face on and make us look good,but its not the truth.  My family don't believe in seperation.  They always tell me you didn't come from a broken home and your children shouldn't either.  That is  bull do they want my kids coming up in a house where there is alot of fighting all the time? We started to have the discusion this weekend and it seemed like the more I poured out to him the angrier he got. At one point he got in my face and told me to SHUT THE HELL UP.  I'm pouring my heart out to him and this is how he gets.  I'm not working right now cause he feels it is better for me to stay at home with our children (I understand that cause he works long hours), but when I ask for an hour here or there for myself he gets all pissed off and thinks I'm cheating.  I even asked his sister (who also is a stay at home mom) to go to lunch on a Friday cause he has off and he got all pissed off.  I just don't get him.  I'm tired of it and I no the end is coming.  I just can't get it out in time (before he gets all pissed off and starts yelling at me).