Divorce is one of life’s major transitions, and it can be one of the most freeing ones.  Life is about  change and evolution.  Sometimes change is intentional, planned and purposeful and sometimes it’s unforeseen, unexpected, unplanned.  Those unforeseen transitions that are the killer.  If you were the one who planned to leave and then left, you have it somewhat easier because at least you were past the first stage of a transition, awareness.    
 
New Paltz, New York social worker, Denise Jelley, who works with people in transition, outlines the five stages you have to go through.

1.Awareness.  There’s a point where you know the change is coming.  The awareness could be an epiphany, like “Why didn’t I see this coming.  I should have asked for a divorce a long time ago.”  Or it could happen over time, a slow realization that it’s time to leave or that your marriage isn’t working.

2.Acceptance.  During this phase you are still feeling the emotions around divorce, such as anger, sadness, anxiety, but you have accepted that it is a reality.

3.Re-Discovery.  Finally you get to find out who you really are and what you want in our life.   This is the fun part of divorce.  You get to re-create your life, dream big dreams, try new things.   Jelley recommends that  you research your passion, to see if you can realize it in some way.

4.Commitment.   You figure out where you want your life to go.  You focus your intention on your goals and objectives, you commit to moving forward rather than staying where you are.  It’s easy to remain stuck.  Believe, visualize, stay positive.  Think “The Secret”

5.Action.  You put your plan into action.  If it’s too scary to do all at once, take baby steps.  Take a smaller risk to build your confidence that you can take a big one.