It's hard to do. Starting over. I've always been one who looks for, and typically finds, the silver lining in even the darkest clouds. My dad died in April, 2001. My mom died in July, 2001. I am an only child. Even that experience (which drove me into grief counseling and, effectively, ended my second marriage) had the most beautiful silver lining. I found out just how strong I could be. How much I could tolerate in life without jumping off the nearest roof.
My marriage ending was nowhere near the trauma caused by the loss of my parents, but it was harder to start over because they weren't there to bolster my confidence if it would lag.
But start over we all must. Get rid of those things that constantly remind you of your ex (unless, of course it's your kid - you should probably want to hang on to them). Repaint. Get new furniture. Or do like what I heard about on the radio not long ago - a guy sold his life on eBay. You got the house and everything in it because he wanted to start fresh. Ok, that's a little drastic, but you see my point.
Even if your mired in self-doubt or have your head buried in a container of Ben & Jerry's, take a little baby step out the front door.
On your own.
For yourself.
See the sunshine.
Be thankful for the opportunity to do the day all again because you were given the greatest gift of waking up this morning.
Say this to yourself often enough and you'll believe it - and live it: I am happy. I am glad to be alive. I am ready for a new adventure called my life.
Because if you do these things - there's no telling what can happen. It happened to me - in a little over two weeks, I'm getting re-married.
This time is so amazingly different I have absolutely no doubts that this is that one guy I was meant to find. The one who understands me like no one else. Including me. The one guy who doesn't mind that I'm short, round, don't have my own hips (they're titanium now), can't bend over and pick stuff up off the floor and have a 10 year old son who's the absolute definition of "precocious".
I am SO incredibly glad I walked out the door, took that step and started over!