Our kids deal with so many more difficult things than we did as children. Single parenthood is becoming the norm these days. Our children are faced with drugs and sex and many other issues that are stronger than when we were in school. The threat of bombs and such are more common. I was on a parent advisory committee at my youngest's school for several years. I sat and listened to the teachers talk about behavior issues , discipline and all of the things they have to now go thru for security in schools.

I too, am a single parent. I have raised 4 beautiful , intelligent kids. The youngest are now 16 and almost 15, the oldest is 26. The youngest  do well in school. My sons are athletic. I have done my best.

Their dad was killed in an accident 10 years ago next month. I was unemployed and a full time homemaker/home educator. We lived in a home with wood being our only heat. My well went dry the very week he was killed.

Talk about fear and anxiety! I lost labs in about 6 weeks. Not only did I have to now provide financially but I had to do everything! We had a small farmette with cattle. I had to thin the herd, manage everything and at that point my life looked very sad and I was terrified.

I decided I was not going to feel sorry for my children. Yes, they lost their dad but life has to go on. Mourn yes, feel sorry ..no. There is a huge difference. I got a part time job, put them into public school and I managed.

About a year later I remarried( too soon) . We moved to a small town close to the schools. I worked for his mother and became a youth leader in my church.

My kids friends started coming over much. I laughingly said that I had my own youth group. Their friends call me mom and I treat them as my own. Even though I am no longer a youth leader, my home is still a "youth group"

In this situation I am able  to see many things. The kids tell me things. I have gotten to know them and some of their parents.

Our children want to be disciplined believe it or not. They want stability. They want to know we are there for them no matter what. They want us at their events even though we have to sit quietly so not to embarrass them LOL. They want to be parented.

I see so many who that is all they want. To be loved and accepted for who they are and to be encouraged to be all they can be. They want their home to be a haven where they can let their hair down and be themselves. To feel safe and secure, loved and wanted and even needed.

Even though I live in a small town , there are gangs here. I see the neglect. I see the need.

If you are a single parent please don't take this as a criticism because it is not meant to be but take is as an encouragement. It is not always possible to be at your childrens events. Just do it when you can. I know you are exhausted after work. I have been there too. I remember going to basketball games in my flannel pjs.

Make a movie night on weekends. Date your children , do something special for each one every so often. One day, even though it is hard now, you will see the results. Your kids will be parents and see all that you have done. Your relationship will be good. I hope it doesn't take that long for us but sometimes it does. Keep your communication line open because when they are teens, you will need it!

All we can do is our best. Our kids are worth it. Be the best you can be. Parent your children as best you can. Be involved in their lives as much as you can. Defend them , love them and cherish every moment you can with them. It is only for a moment and they are grown.