hi

My advise is that if you both want to work it out then you both have to give 100% but if either of you are in doubt and questioning the other person...it'll never work...my advise is that you either get outside help-someone impartial, counselors someone ..... in my own experience we both didn't give it 100%...and I know the trust factor was allot of my hang up in not giving 100%...I think the only reason we tried to make things work was we were scared of being alone...and for the sake of the kids...DON'T do it for the kids if you have any...do it because you truly want to be together....we were together for 28 yrs...it is scary but if you are not happy it's better to cut your losses and move on. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make. :)

Also, I am already past the panic stage.  I almost feel numb.  I wake up and feel blank.  What kills me the most is that I wasn't happy either.  The thing that bothers me is that I know why I wasn't happy and am willing to work on that.  He says he doesn't know.  I think he is afraid we will try and things will get better for a while and then go back to the way it was.  He doesn't want to end up back here again.  Maybe he just doesn't love me like that anymore, maybe he loves me as a friend.  That is what I fear most!

My husband thinks therapy is BS.  Then yesterday he said he would go to therapy for himself to figure out his issues.  I feel he only said this because I found out (through his computer) that he was browsing on Match.com.  He didn't sign up but was checking it out.  At first he was rude to me but then said he went on to see if there were other young people like himself that were divorced/ and or separated.  I want to believe that but I am having a hard time.  We do have a 2 year old and no I don't want him to stay for her.  If he doesn't love me then we shouldn't be together.  However, I feel our love is blurred by all the fighting.  Could that be?

Iam going through the exact same thing. he left a week ago tomorrow. Maybe he does need space but have you considered counseling? My husband refuses to go maybe yours will be more open to the idea. There are alot of emotions right now just try to stay calm and not panic.(like I did) take it minute by minute. Sit down and think about what YOU want and what will make YOU happy.

I hope that works...just try to focus on the positives on why you two married each other. Do you have kids? If so, think of the emotional strain that a seperation/divorce could cause. My wife told me 2 months ago that she didn't love me anymore and that she didn't want to work at the marriage. I am prayerful that you and him can look each other in the eyes and see what your/his heart wants.