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Custody Issues

I live in a no-fault state and am contemplating a divorce from my husband. My main reason for staying is that we have 2 small children and I am able to protect them by staying married. My husband is a chronic pot smoker. He smokes every day. My question is this: would I be able to force supervised visitations, or force him to submit to drug testing? I don't trust his judgment with them alone. I am hoping someone can point me in the right direction to getting an answer for this question. Thank you!
by porubs    2 Posts   
Posted on 6/30/2008 2:24 PM    
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Answers for "Custody Issues"  (7) (You must be logged in to answer)
Thank you for all your suggestions.....no, he does not smoke in the house, only in the garage and it is never in front of me or the kids.  I know though, that it's only a matter of time before one of the kids catches him.  I have given him an ultimatum consisting of a day that he must get "everything" out of the house or I will call the cops and turn him in.  I am just trying to answer some questions beforehand, so that I have all my ducks in a row.  So, no, I won't have a problem turning him in if I have to.  And I have nothing to hide because I have never done drugs in my life.  Thanks especially for the suggestions to get proof.  I never even thought of that or considered that I may need it.  I may invest in a hidden camera put in our garage.
by porubs   2 Posts
Posted on 6/30/2008 8:06 PM
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Is he smoking it in the home? When you and the kids are there? If he is, you are not protecting your kids - and god forbid child services ends up involved in your life due to someone who is butting into your personal affairs, because you could be considered just as guilty as he is allowing it & your kids could end up in foster care while you jump through hoops to get them back.

You can't force drug testing unless you can prove to the court he is a drug abuser, or he has killed off so many brain cells that he admits to it. Has he ever been arrested for posession? Would you be willing to call the police and inform them he has drugs on him if he goes out somewhere so they can pick him up?

Check the laws in your state regarding hidden video. (http://www.rcfp.org/taping/) If you can do it legally, you may want to invest in a nanny cam, or hire a private investigator to install cameras in your home for you - and get evidence of his use that way.

With evidence, you can get supervised visitation until he completes a drug program & parenting classes - however this is not something you should be doing without legal representation in court.
by spaznskitz   2584 Posts
Posted on 6/30/2008 7:27 PM
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Porubs, I am a U.S. attorney.

Even though you are in a no-fault state, virtually every state determines child custody and visitation based on a standard of what is in "the best interest of the children."  Most states do have a preference for joint legal custody.  However, proof of drug abuse by a parent can often be an exception (naturally).  Certainly the courts are going to have legitimate concerns about your kids being there when he's high.

You might be able to do it on your own, but I think you are better served to find a way to get a lawyer and prove this to the judge to get the kids in some protected visitation setting.  Possibly, the judge may require that your ex go to drug counseling before getting more "normal" visitation rights.

 

Best of luck.
by justokguy   145 Posts
Posted on 6/30/2008 4:59 PM
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Talk to your lawyer. You will have to be able to prove the drug use. That may be difficult. At least maybe you can get the visitation limited...
by mtnvly   828 Posts
Posted on 6/30/2008 4:47 PM
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Can you prove his drug use? I mean prove it. And make sure you aren't around him enough to "inhale" some of what he is doing, because you will most likely have to take tests too. Talk to a lawyer and find out what you need to do in order to prove it (pictures, witnesses, etc). I know in a lot of cases your lawyer can ask the court for mandatory drug testing in order for him to see the kids. If awarded, he would be called at different times to report for a drug test. If he fails, he loses his visitation.
by movingforward   7 Posts
Posted on 6/30/2008 4:30 PM
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