A question for you ladies

How do you deal with the hurt?

I think it is natural to want human touch. I see nothing wrong with it whatsoever. I don't think it unmanly at all. Stay the way you are...

You are not alone.  I feel the same way.. wondering how log it takes for the feeling to go away...

Heck, no- that's very manly.  I love it that you feel man enough to even ASK that question.

I feel that way lots of times. I have my good days and my bad days. Somedays I feel so lonely, other days not so much.

Your in a safe place to be able to express yourself... bottom line is YOU. You take care of yourself and learn about who you are. This is healthy catharsis. You go man! Some aren't as demonstrative as others- but that doesn't mean you can be yourself. There's a book out there called the "Five Love Languages". You can tell what a person's love language is by how they are. If they give gifts, then that means they love to receive gifts. If they hug, they are huggers. ...and so forth. It will help you to identify what your kids are and meet those needs in them. This will help them to be healthier happier adults and it will help you too when no hugs are available from other places. What's that song "Love The Ones Your With". I am a very demonstrative person. My husband wasn't, but my kids are and perhaps they will bring that out in him. It especially affected my daughter- who needed to feel like her Daddy noticed her. But he didn't. I'm off track I  know. But meet these needs in your kids too. Your desire to be cuddled, hugged, held, loved, and cared for is a built in human need. Humans need touch or else we would whither up and die. Note the studies they've done on babies who weren't held. They did not thrive. Whereas the held ones did.  Anyways- never fear to be real.

Rich, I think you'll find MOST women appreciate the kind of sensitivity you are exhibiting by your need for being close with a woman.  Women in America are bombarded daily with images and suggestions of what they are supposed to look like, and at the same time they are getting overloaded with what a man is expected to be like.  Avery hit TV show out there features some bumbling idiot of a husband, OR some slick tough-guy who lacks the ability to open up unless its with some Vegas-style swagger designed to get someone in the sack for a while.

I'm like you, I like to be held and comforted almost as much as I like to hold and comfort.  Nothing starts my day or ends my day like a big hug and a gentle pat on the back of my neck.  I like to hold hands, I like touching in non-sexual public ways even.  It's all about the connection for me.  Used to be that way for my wife.  I think her little mid-life crisis here has been about a re-discovery of her primal sexual self and she found a willing partner.  She never bothered to introduce me to her Puma alter-ego, but maybe that is changing.

Enough of her, back to you.  Don't be ashamed of yourself for feeling the way you do.  Macho plastic guys are out there in droves, routinely disappointing women of all ages every day.  Personally, I think it takes a man to be sensitive and intelligent and calm.  Be strong, a rock, but have compassion and be sensitive while you're at it.  Self-awareness of your own feelings, Rich, is like summiting the Mt Everest of relationships.

I do not see it as a weakness....we all have needs and wants....do not change....be yourself and someone fantastic will come into your life one day and love you "for you".

I'm in the same situation as you. Go get the new Three Doors Down CD. and listen to the song "Let me be me". It has hepled me so much in the journey i'm on now. It will give you inspiration to move forward to the place you deserve to be...good luck!

Wanting and needing to be held is NOT a weakness.  We all need and want to be held.

Do not change yourself for anyone but you.  I have learned the lesson the hard way, and now I am trying to find who I am.  Just be you.

2much42long, that really does make a lot of sense. I'll never get what I truly want in life if I'm not myself.

Rich, there's nothing wrong with wanting (and needing) to be held.  I'm like that too.

Consider this, if you changed yourself so that women didn't think you like to be held, then you'd end up with a woman who doesn't want to hold you.  You don't want that.  The ladies are right, be yourself, and find the right woman, not just any woman.

I am most definately being myself. I think I'm much different than most men and it concerns me that women won't be attracted to me. On the plus side, any woman who ends up in a relationship with me will be appreciated, respected, romanced, and loved like never before!

I agree...be yourself!  If you have a feeling to wanting to be held than that is fine, but dont change yourself because you think women like that.  as mtnvly said every person is different and there is someone out there for all of us.  i do know what you mean abou that desire to be held....at times it can be unbearable if you can't be with someone you care about.

It depends on the woman on how they see it...I would say. I also would say that I do not see it as a weakness. Woman are the same way, some like to be held a lot...some not as much. We are all different ... Don't attempt to change who you are  for anyone. Be yourself, be real and be honest.