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   Posted to group - Money matters    <<Previous    Next>>

Should I Ask My Ex to Pay for Half My Daughter's Trip to London?

So as some of you know, my daughter is not talking to her father for a host of reasons. She has a trip to London this winter with the high school marching band which is not cheap and I need to start paying for. Should I ask him for half even though she wants nothing to do with him?
by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce    299 Posts   
Posted on 6/26/2008 9:35 AM    
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Answers for "Should I Ask My Ex to Pay for Half My Daughter's Trip to London?"  (6) (You must be logged in to answer)
Thanks, Elane. That is exactly what I did and she totally understood and agreed that this has nothing to do with their relationship, it has to do with his responsibility. We will have to see if he views it the same way!
by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce   299 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 12:22 PM
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I would say that whether she is speaking with him or not, he's still her Father.  In good times and bad, he still needs to support her and just understand that she's going through a hard time with him.  Yes, I think he should contribute.  But I think the person that needs to accept it is HIM.  Hold it over her head?  She's not asking for his help, YOU are, and as her guardians, the ones responsible for her happiness and well being, you BOTH have a responsibility to make this trip happen.  I agree that you should sit down and explain to her his money is in no way any reason to have to like him right now, but that as her parent, he has half responsibility, and that means financially too.  Tell her it's help for YOU, not HER, and maybe she'll feel better about it.  Good Luck!
by elane   319 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 12:17 PM
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Great idea, thanks!
by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce   299 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 11:24 AM
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i would sit down with her first and tell her the situation..in frank terms abotu what this really all means.  get her input.  then tell her you're going to have the same convo with him.  tell him that his behaviour is causing all of this angst and that you want him to pay..but you will not accept any attitude or future bragging rights.  he has harmed his child enough.
by paula1   2545 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 11:09 AM
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It is tough., right? On the one hand, he does have that financial responsibility, on the other hand, he might hold it over her if he contributes. I can't afford it on my own, so the other choice is for her to ask friends and family to contribute, which feels really uncomfortable to me. Not sure what to do!
by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce   299 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 11:06 AM
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that's a tough one.  on one hand, yes he should pay....part of his responsibilities as a parent is financial.  on other hand, you want to stand with your daughter and support her.  i guess i would have to figure out which act support her more. 

that's not easy. 

once in a lifetime opp vs standing her ground vs finding a way to move on past a difficult situation with her father....hard hard hard. 

to me, in the end...the life lesson is that he is her father (for better / worse)..and she will always have a relationship (of some kind ) with him..forever. 

i don't suggest she use him...i suggest she find a way to accept him for what he is.  i know this does not help you! sorry.  maybe someone else here has a good answer.
by paula1   2545 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 10:58 AM
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