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  Posted to group - Difficult Ex's    <<Previous    Next>>

My soon to be ex is spending the weekends with his new girlfriend and my child

I am going thru a divorce and my soon to be ex. is spending everyother weekend with his new girlfriend, my 3 year old son, and her 5 year old son.  We had the morals discussion before I knew he was dating and we agreed that we would keep our dating lives seperate from our son.  I knew something was up when I could never reach him at the cabin to say hi to my son.  I finally *67'd him and he answered and immediately put the phone on mute and went outside, I told him I wanted to speak to our son, he put him on and when I asked what he was doing, he said playing with Blake.  I confronted my husband and he admitted he was up there with his girlfriend and his son.  My son has been acting out in a way he never has before, and I now know why, but my husband thinks he is doing nothing wrong.  How can I stop this?  It is not fair to subject my toddler to this.  He only sees him 3 days everyother weekend.  He has plenty of time to date without involving my son. Help please!

by mattsma    10 Posts   
Posted on 6/24/2008 6:35 PM    
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Answer s for "My soon to be ex is spending the weekends with his new girlfriend and my child"  (9) (You must be logged in to answer)

I am kind of in the same boat as you and I'm no Prude. However, I  don't believe in this girlfriend overnight stuff and involving our child especially when he still sleeps in bed with my ex.
 I have morals in my divorce agreement and it doesn't seem to mean anything in court. They just look at you as a jealous ex-wife and say well this is "2008"! There is no one to help advocate for us to keep our innocent children innocent anymore..If you can find an Attorney, Law Guardian or Judge who cares I'd like to hear about it.
by Syrah   3 Posts
Posted on 7/7/2008 1:05 AM
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Spasnskitz is always so right on the money! Everyone else too, but I think the overnights around the kids are a bit much, unless they're married.  It's too hard to explain to the kids why it's okay that one of you has someone other than their other parent in the bed with you.  They just don't understand.  If it's serious enough that you would marry them today, then I think it's time to start the introductions. Other than that, kids shouldn't see someone else overnight.  I don' t think  you can do anything about them meeting her, but staying in the same house overnight is too much for a baby of 3, or any age really!  He's doing too much too soon.  Be careful with putting clauses in your divorce...it's one more thing to have to go back to court for later and spend more money to change.  Unless you include an ending date or set time period, you'll spend $$ later to reverse things.  No thanks! The lawyers get no more of my kids money!

by elane   250 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 12:26 PM
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i relate. my loser ex did the same thing.  he actually had my kids sleep in the same bed with them!   they were 1 and 2 at the time....and he refuses to think he is doing anything wrong.  i didn't know about this morality clause, but i asked if there was anything i could do to stop it..and my lawyer told me no, that no judge would ever allow it and they want people to start life over..including date!

grrrrr.
by paula1   665 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 11:21 AM
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Children are so easily confused at any age. I agree with you 100% He should not have his girlfriend around your son.Only 3 days every other weekend????? THAT IS HIS TIME TO BE A DAD AND HANG WITH HIS KID.Get a clue dad!  What is wrong with some people? They just don't get it. My future plan to is to wait until my relationship gets serious and if looks like it will be long term, then start to introduce him to the kids,a little at time. Ease everyone into the situation.BUT NEVER EVER WILL I HAVE HIM OVER NIGHT WHEN MY KIDS ARE HOME!!!! I have morals and VERY strong beliefs about that. That is one thing my stbx will never have to worry about. Good Luck. Look into the moral clause for the overnighters. Counseling sounds good too. Sometimes my oldest acts out, not like usual fits, so I know this separation is taking a toll on him at times. He is old enough to tell me how he feels. It breaks my heart. And he is 10. That's the way to go. That's what I am going to do. Anything to protect the kids!
by ec   161 Posts
Posted on 6/26/2008 11:10 AM
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