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   Posted to group - What do i do now    <<Previous    Next>>

Casual sex?

I married my husband when I was 18 and we have been married for 20 years. He has cheated on me twice and we are in the process of getting a divorce.

I have always wondered if I missed out on something because I never had casual sex or a one night stand or any of those other typical college experiences.

All of my friends keep telling me I just need to get laid and have casual sex. They said it was fun and a great release.

I have known this guy for several years and we have always had chemistry, but I of course never did anything. Now that I am getting a divorce we have been flirting and talking. We played kissy face one night and it was kind of fun.

I finally had my first casual sex and I am terribly dissapointed. I had a very hard time relaxing and letting go. He was average at best, but very enthusiastic.

Did I do something wrong or is casual sex not all it's made out to be?

Kimberly
by Kimberly0317    13 Posts   
Posted on 6/19/2008 3:22 AM    
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Answers for "Casual sex?"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)
when you're not in a relationship or ending one casual sex could be OK. Sometimes it is the start of a relationship. While I am not an expert at it and have been happily married for 6 years (but she wants a divorce), I do recall my 1 time in college and have no bad memories. But at this point in my life and with the pending divorce, I would NEVER have casual sex. too many people can get hurt and just like those highschool rumors that hurt us as kids, if you had one and friends found out it may work against your friendships..
by Abe   10 Posts
Posted on 6/21/2008 5:10 PM
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I personally have not had casual sex, but I can only imagine that it would not be satisfying....unless you are just in it for the physical aspect which I never am in my relationships.  I have only slept with people that I have cared about and were in love with.  I agree with the others too....you probably are not ready which is why you weren't into it.  Always the first time you have sex with someone (at least in my experience) it is never the "best time" with them because people are nervous and all.  I think you need to be together a couple of times before you can truly connect in the act and have it be what you want it to be.  Again just my opinion.
by JLK   302 Posts
Posted on 6/19/2008 2:08 PM
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I agree with valmet. Casual sex is meaningless. I feel that you need to have genuine feelings for a person in order for sex to feel right. Myself, I never really considered myself to just having sex. I always feel like I am making love to my partner. that is what makes it special to me.
by nowareman   58 Posts
Posted on 6/19/2008 2:02 PM
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The reason it was not satisfying is you were not ready. Your mind was filled with what is going on with your divorce. Casual sex is meaningless. It can be fun but just for the few minutes you are engaged in it. But after that you wonder why you did that. Finish your divorce, concentrate on where you are and what you want before you jump into any relationship, casual or permanent.
by Valmet   43 Posts
Posted on 6/19/2008 10:16 AM
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