I was just posting a response to Cricket  who couldn’t wait till her divorce was final in 90 days because she thought she could only start moving on once she got that piece of paper.  I think a lot of women make the mistake of signing on the dotted line much too quickly because they think somehow the divorce being final means they’ve moved on.  As a result they often sign away too many of their rights, make too many concessions just to get it over with.

Well, I have news for you ladies, that piece of paper doesn’t mean it’s over with.    If you were married a long time it’s going to take a long time to move on and that’s just reality.  In my favorite divorce book, “Crazy Time,” Abigail Trafford says it takes a year to get over every 5 years of marraige.  For those of us who were in long marriages that seems hard to take, but she really is right on the money.  You need to take enough time to go through all the stages of mourning– denial, grief, anger, bargaining, until you get to acceptance.    It’s a long roller coaster ride.  The upside is that you get to reinvent yourself and your life in the process which can be pretty exciting.    So read Crazy Time and get on with it.