Here it comes.....hard to admit....oh, what the heck...

I haven't "gotten any" in such a long time.  I mean really!  It's been 14 months!  Is that longer/shorter than you? Come on ladies (ok, guys too), how long has it been? (If he came back now begging, there's no way I'd go near him.)  I just miss the act itself. But what about all of you?  Screw the rings (no pun intended :) ), how long has it been since you've gotten IT?  Especially those of you that have been cheated on..like me.  Total honesty and support, that's what we're about here, so let's have it!
"Hello, my name is Elane.  It has been 412 days since my last...well, you know..."