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What do you do while you wait?

I am new to this community and joined to find some commonality with others. 

I am not sure if this is the same process in other states, but in the state of Washington, once the paperwork for a divorce is filed, there is a 90 day waiting period.  I feel as I am still married and connected to this person until I receive that piece of paper telling me it is offical.  I am impatient and ansy!  I feel that I can't do anything until then.  I am planning to attend graduate school, but that is a year away.  I need to move on, but how?  What do you do to feel as if you've moved on?  What can I do to help this?  I want to feel empowered in my life again as I will not let this experience define me.
by Cricket84    3 Posts   
Posted on 6/15/2008 8:37 PM    
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Tags: moving on , seeking advice , need closure

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Answers for "What do you do while you wait?"  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)
Hi Cricket, you posted on my other thread about what you miss most.   One thing you should know is that a piece of paper does not mean you've moved on.  The divorce decree is only a piece of paper, the only thing that helps you move on is time, and working on yourself.  Immediately after you split you feel like you have to wrap things up really fast, just to feel better.  But you're going to heal at your own pace no matter when the divorce is final.   My best advice to you is read Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford.  You sound like a bright person and you will learn so much about healing from divorce in that book.  The title accurately describes how you feel after divorce--you're now in crazy time and will be there for a  while.  Accept how you feel, forgive yourself for not getting over him right away, and start reading.  Tell me what you think of the book.
by EricaManfred   215 Posts
Posted on 6/18/2008 5:11 PM
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Hello cricket84. I have talked to several attorneys, divorced friends and have checked with the family law facilitator at the Pierce county court house. You can also get some good info as well as all the forms at WWW.wa.courts.gov. there are also a couple of cool websites where you can get free legal answers from real attorneys. The law.com and avvo.com
by nowareman   58 Posts
Posted on 6/15/2008 9:20 PM
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Hey Nowareman,  I'm in Spokane county.  Where were you able to find this information?  Do you have a website URL that you can send me?  Thanks!
by Cricket84   3 Posts
Posted on 6/15/2008 9:06 PM
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Hello fellow Washingtonian. I have done some digging on divorce laws in WA and have found some things that you might find helpful.The 90 day waiting period is until you get your first court date. That is nothing more than a hearing to assign the court date, which could be a year plus later. If the divorce is uncontested, the process could be much quicker. Also it is my understanding that mediation is mandatory before the divorce is finalized. What county are you in? This is just info that I've gathered and is my undrestanding, so don't take my word for it. I may be wrong.
by nowareman   58 Posts
Posted on 6/15/2008 8:57 PM
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Good for you Cricket84.  It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and will be very successful at whatever you do.  Right now I would just hang out with your friends and family and enjoy being with everyone before you leave for school.  Try not to think about the 90 day waiting period.  In your heart and mind the marriage is over and you are just waiting on a piece of paper.  Do not let it get to you.  I know it must be hard but enjoy this time for yourself.  Good Luck to you and keep me posted.
by Barkley   886 Posts
Posted on 6/15/2008 8:52 PM
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