what do i do

my wife an i legaly seperated almost 3 months ago I had to move out of state for a few reasons . well i havent heard from here in about 2 months intill about 4 or 5 days ago she called me out of the blue an we talked all day an night she bascily told me she still loves me an miss's me an does want me to come home.. sounds like my problem is solved right.. wrong... she's saying she doesnt wanna rush into anything an screw things up in the future . Now im stuck here wanting nothing more then to go home to my wife an kids an just have my life back but shes telling me to wait. Now i feel like i think it was easier not hearing from her then talking with her all night for the last almost week . As of today she's telling me it could be months if not next year before she wants me to come home but wants me to stay faithfull an just keep being the person she wants me to be while she's aloud to do whatever she wants with out me getting on her about it. I love my wife with every being of my body weve been married 4 years an togther 8 total the last thing i wanna do is give up but i dont know how to just keep waiting without losing my mind. any help with what to do or just maybe an idea on how to convince her to just let me come home

by babiblue 3 Posts
Posted on 6/3/2008 7:27 AM

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Answers for "what do i do" (6) (You must be logged in to answer)

Do you want to wait forever for her to make up her mind?
In 3 months alot can change during a relationship, she sounds like she doesn't know what she really wants. But she wanys you to be waiting on the side lines when ever she makes up her mind. I would go talk to a lawyer abut not talking to your children, you are paying for them right?
Think about what you really want for your future and do it.
Take care

by cancer 32 Posts
Posted on 6/3/2008 3:45 PM

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It appears that she wants her cake and eat it too. however, give her the space she's requesting. It doe's appear that she's involved with a significant other,but give her space because she may just be going through something that she thinks she wants but what she really wants maybe you wih the children. Just let her figure out what she wants. And if it's not you two together give God a try and pray for what you want . Yoyu may just want a peace of mind. Put it in God's hands

by nelda 1 Post
Posted on 6/3/2008 2:47 PM

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no I didnt get to talk to my kids for 2 months. She has admit to me that she hadnt been faithfull but she was going through a really big party stage but she said she's done with drinking an sleeping around. I think alot of it has to do with me cause she says more i bring up coming home more i push her away so i reallly dont know

by babiblue 3 Posts
Posted on 6/3/2008 1:15 PM

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I don't see how she can expect you to just wait around. If she wants to make the marriage work than you need to be working on it together. It takes two. I agree maybe not living in the same house is the right thing to do, but you need to be doing something to work towards getting your marriage on track (if that is what both people want). You should be talking, working things out, going to counseling, trying to reconnect, figuring out what caused the current issues and how to solve them, etc. If she is doing whatever and you are not allowed to do anything but sit and wait....I don't see how that is going to do any good. I would not allow that to happen. You need to see changes happening towards making it work. No one should have to wait around for anyone like that.

by JLK 302 Posts
Posted on 6/3/2008 12:26 PM

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Sounds like she's not being faithful? Hard to tell from your post. I wouldn't agree to a one-sided anything. You absolutely should stay faithful...but I wouldn't agree to this living-apart-have-no-idea-when-i'll-hear-from-you-or-see-my-kids arrangement. Tell her it's either an arranged separation or its not. You're either working together to fix this or you're not. Don't give her THAT easy of an out when she is claiming to want to fix things. If she wants out, she needs to just be honest. Otherwise, there needs to be a set schedule to work on it. Marriages die without constant attention and work. I think we all know that here!

by elane 339 Posts
Posted on 6/3/2008 12:23 PM

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did this mean you didn't talk to your kids for 2 months too? i don't understand what she wants here. can you tell us more details.

by paula1 5202 Posts
Posted on 6/3/2008 11:28 AM

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what do i do