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Seems over, need help
My wife and I were separated for about 10 weeks. She moved back in after we agreed that I would move out in August and she would buy the house off of me. Things went ok for the first week or so. We seemed to get along but its back to the same stuff that got us split up in the first place. What went wrong? She feels like I have wronged her on some occasions in our past. I can agree that I have and have apologized and not repeated the behavior. Because of that she dislikes me and treats me very poorly, she is verbally abusive and brings up the same things over and over just to argue. I am a very easy going person and do not initiate confontation. I have a high tolerance for her complaining but I hit a point and snap, I become angry and loud and say very mean things. That lead her to moving out. I honestly feel like she is trying to get me to come after her, she tells me she wishes I wasn't our childs father and that I would be better off not in his life. Just mean spirited comments one after the other. It's as if she is just trying to tourment me until I just leave, which I can't afford until she goes back to work and I'm back to splitting the bills with her. Now I'm at the point where I just don't want to be around her because it is literally nothing but rude comments and attitude out of her. Instead I go out after work and kill time. This is making it look like I don't want to spend time with my son, only that is not the truth. I just don't enjoy being around his mom or hanging out with him with her around. She monopolizes his time and makes me feel very uncomfortable and inadequate when I have time with him. I felt much better with him when we were separated and I had alone time with him. Is this familiar behavior to anyone? She is just so resentful and bitter and is making every day hell for me. She then goes around calling her family and friends saying I wont leave her alone when I try and have a conversation with her making me look like this jerk. The whole situation is getting insane.
by
JimMac
21 Posts
Posted on
6/2/2008 3:30 PM
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Seems over, need help
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21 Posts
We were in counseling for a year and it went nowhere. We were having the same issues a year after starting counseling that we were before going into counseling. In a nutshell she was resentful about the way I acted at times in the past, could not get over them and treated me like crap because of it. I would zone her out and spent less and less time with her because of the way she acted with me whenever we were together. She refuses to let the past go and is just one of those people who constantly has to complain and put me down and bring up the past. We went over it 500 times in counseling, she was told she has to stop complaining and nagging for our marraige to work. She refuses. there's really not much more to it in that regard.
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JimMac
21 Posts
Posted on 6/10/2008 2:44 PM
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1761 Posts
Be warned. If and when you do file, she sounds just like the physco ex that my bf has. Protect yourself if you do separate. I mean legally.
Sad thing is....it will not end with separation.
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mtnvly
1761 Posts
Posted on 6/5/2008 7:48 PM
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2776 Posts
Jim - have either of you considered marriage counseling?
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spaznskitz
2776 Posts
Posted on 6/5/2008 7:07 PM
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21 Posts
It has nothing to do with another woman. I have always been faithful. I have on occasions, I think 3 times, gotten drunk and made inappropriate comments to or about women in front of her. Twice was before we were married and once was after. 2 of the times were complete jokes, the other I was just being a drunk ass showing off in front of my friends. We went to counseling for over a year, my wife gets so irrational that the counselor eventually told her she cannot help us because my wife isn't willing to move past what bothers her from the past.
As for going out alone to spend time with him, its difficult sometimes given that he is only 5 months old. She also has gotten into the habit of taking him somewhere before I get home from work and not coming home until his bedtime so she puts him right into his crib. She actually told me if I want to see him I need to schedule time with him. That was fine when we were separated but I should not have to do that when we are living together. Her purposely keeping him away from me when we live in the same house is very immature.
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JimMac
21 Posts
Posted on 6/5/2008 2:13 PM
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723 Posts
Why not spend time with your son alone? Take him for a walk, to the park or just go to McDonalds. anything. Don't let him suffer. It will bite you on the ass later on down the road.
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Branny
723 Posts
Posted on 6/2/2008 7:13 PM
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48 Posts
This is case of a woman scorned.............basically she is hurting very much for whatever reason right now. You didnt go into much detail as to why she is acting this way towards you, but I can just about guess it has something to do with another woman. If that is not the case, please forgive me for assuming, but that is typical behavior for a women scorned by infidelity. Because your wife is hurting inside, she will try to hurt you as well by insulting you, criticizing your parenting skills, anything that can make you feel as horrible as she feels if not worse right now. The best thing to do is talk it out, or get some counseling, or ask her to leave.
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shira
48 Posts
Posted on 6/2/2008 6:59 PM
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