I found this on my hard drive from when we went to Retrouvaille, the marriage encounter workshop, with my ex.  We had to write to each other about how we felt about various issues.   This was about how his moods affected me.  He was having an affair at the time so no wonder I felt the way I did.  Looking back it reminds me of what my marriage was like.  Sometimes I forget.

 " When you start glowering at me I immediately get oversensitive and start feeling frantic to deal with it somehow.  At the same time I have an intense need to escape and get away from you and your moods.  I dont' know why your moods affect me so intensely--I really wish they wouldn't--I wish that I was more thick-skinned and could just slough them off.  I see people who do that and it amazes me.  You are the kind of person who emits poison gas when they're in a bad mood.  I inhale that gas and it makes me want to crawl into bed and go to sleep--it's exhausting.  I also feel paralyzed and powerless, both over you and myself.

 Your moods are so catching--they eventually make me feel as negative and dark as you.  Then  I get angry at you for putting me through your mood.  That usually makes me feel better because it's a way of fighting off the downward pull, the feeling that there's no hope.  Anger is way of asserting myself, of saying that I'm not going to get trapped by this no matter what.  But the whole cycle is just draining and exhausting in the end.  When my anger is the thing that finally snaps you out of your mood I feel resentful--like why did you have to put me through this so you could feel better.  

Lately your moods have been coming closer together and it's totally confusing to me how to react to you at any given time.  I have no idea what's going on with you and that's frightening to me. And yes, I do withdraw and distance myself from  you a lot because I need to maintain some equilibrium, a sense of self distinct from you, a self that's safe and reliable rather than unpredictable and stormy.  I can't surrender myself to you because you are unsafe and dangerous actually to me--you threaten to pull me under with you because I haven't the strength to resist.  I feel I haven't the strength but I must have it somewhere because I manage to stay afloat.  Our relationship suffers however because I'm always pulling back--I just don't trust you to be kind to me, take care of me, do what's best for me.  I have to take care of myself by pulling away.  I feel like being too close to you is a stepping into quicksand--I could be pulled down and never escape.  "