can't believe i just joined this site. . .

hi everyone- i have been reading some posts, and because a few mirrored my personal experiences I realized I needed to sign up and join this group. My husband and I have been married for just over a year; dated for 4 months before getting engaged and have been together a total of 4 years this june. We were living together after about 9 months. He was so good with my son [who is 3 now] and great to me. I got pregnant in december 2006 and we were both thrilled. Throughout the pregnancy he was decent to me, but not "great". I'd whine and he'd tell me to suck it up, "you wanted it" he would tell me. I started to freak out , because my previous relationship [lasted 7 years] ended when my son was around 10 months old, and I didn'tt want to have a child with my husband and then him leave me. Well, now my younest is 8.5 months and we are on the rocks. There was a big blow up and he does not like my mother and does not want me taking the kids ot her house- I took them there yesterday and he had a cow. Today I was going to go there, but he told me he would without a doubt divorce me if i go. I saved our entire conversation on the subject because it was on a yahoo chat while he is at work, and idk if i might need it ever. . . I did end up having my mom come visit me and my boys at our house even though i know my husband would be mad. I only have one parent left- my dad died from cancer when i was 16- so closeness wth her is important. My husband wants me to choose between him and my relatiionship with her- a decision that no one should have to make ever. Recently, he has been very harsh with my 3.5 year old... If he does something "wrong", hubby takes ALL of my sons toys from his room and makes him go without them ALL day long. This is not the right punishment for a 3.5 year old! I havent told his father because he would be irate, justifiably so. In all of our arguements thus far in our marriage he has threatened divorce, so now when he says it i tell him "do what you gotta do" because i am over him trying to control me with his threats. I have askedh im to get counseling with me, and he wont. There is no persuading him, he likes to be in charge, and i am over it. In past "fights" he has called me a "bitch" (well who isnt in a fight?!) , "fatass"( yeah so i am still working on the 30lbs i gained in pregnancy!), "whore"( referring to that fact i had a lot of bfs in high school!!) and a "leaching whore", (refering to the fact that I only work on weekends, am a sahm during the week, an online college student, and therefore am not contributing to the household- when i know damn well that i am.) He conveniently "forgets" that my dad left me a trust fund when he died and anytime we have had a financial hardship that money has helped us out. It paid for most of our wedding, and thankfully he cannot touch it, even in the event of divorce. My oldest son is the sole beneficiary right now. Honestly, I could go on all day about the other "little" things that add up, but I have to get the kids some dinner. . . Any and all advice and comments are appreciated! oh, ps : tonight when he gets home we are supposed to "have a discussion" about it all, and the discussion will "decide the fate of our marriage" -- his words.