Abusive men do not change. They can not help themselves. If he is abusive towards you and your children. GET OUT!!!

I have been a victim of domestic violence for several years now.  It wasn't always this way, and the violence is in the form of verbal abuse.  It did get physical for a while, and I was able to obtain a restraining order.  My husband was forced to attend anger management classes, and it did help stop the physical part of the abuse.  He never punched me, but he used to grab me, pull on me, push me, and bend me over and act like he was you know whatting me from behind.  He would do this in front of our children, and he was and still is ALWAYS intoxicated when this happens.  Now that the physical part has stopped, it has been much more bearable.  Alcohol is my husband's enemy and his lover, all at the same time.  When he drinks, I try to avoid him.  It's not everyday like it used to be, but it does happen weekly even now.  My children and I have learned how to cope, and they swear they want him here.  He never abuses them - only me.  And all this started after he started having an affair.  Once the affair ended, it got much worse.  After the restraining order and a couple of separations he cleaned up his act somewhat.  Today, he stays at home with our kids while I financially support us.  He lost everything during his affair and daily drinking.  He's still trying to pick up the pieces of his life and I let him stay with us.  It won't be forever, but for now my children are much happier since Dad is back in the home.  He's always been an attentive father; plays with them, swims with them, takes them places, goes fishing with them, etc.  They love their dad, but they hate it when he drinks.  I guess you could say there's a love/hate relationship there, but everytime I suggest making him leave, they beg me to let him stay.  What else can I do?  I figure my happiness will have to come later in life.  For now, I just take one day at a time.

Good luck. I hope everything works out. At least you now have opened up the line of communitation. Maybe he will see something needs to change.

Thank you everybody for your advice!  I talked with my husband last night for about an hour and we talked about a lot of things including what we each think about the chances in our relationship.  He supposedly never thought that we should be separated or divorce-I think that there is a very slim chance our marriage will work out.  However, God has shown me so many miracles lately so you never know.  I think that if our marriage is going to work it will take a long time.  I don't know-I guess I just have to ride in "limbo" until I know.

Definitely do not have sex with him unless you're sure you really want to save your marriage. Have you gone to counseling? That might help you decide as to what the best course of action is for you. I agree with both, cutdeep and mtnvly's advice as well. Good luck!