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   Posted to group - What do i do now    <<Previous    Next>>

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO WORK THROUGH OUR PROBLEMS, BUT YESTURDAY HE HANDED ME HIS CELL PHONE TO LOOK AT A PICTURE AT THAT TIME SOMEONE TEXT HIM. I OPENED IT NOT THINKING ANYTHING BECAUSE WE ANSWER EACH OTHERS PHONES ALL THE TIME ... WELL HE GOT A TEXT FROM A WOMAN SAYING . SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU LOVE ME... HE SAID THEY JUST JOKE AROUND ... WELL WE HAD A TALK ABOUT HER LAST WEEK BECAUSE IF HE REALLY LOVES AND WANTS US TO MAKE IT THEN HE DONT NEED TO BE TEXTING A WOMAN THAT HE KNOWS FOR A FACT IS INTO HIM... WELL HE TOLD ME THEY HAVE BEEN TEXTING BACK AND FORTH  FOR AWHILE.. BUT NOTHING IS GOING ON..HE SAYS... HE LET ME READ ALL THE TEXTS.. IT WAS NOTHING BUT FLIRTING AND IT ENDED WITH HIM TELLING HER HE COULD LOVE HER.. I TOLD HIM  THAT IS A FORM OF CHEATING AND EVEN THOUGH HE FEELS HE  DONE NOTHING WRONG  IN MY EYES HE HAS... HE CALLED ME AWHILE AGO TELLING ME HE TOLD HER TO DELETE HIS NUMBER THEM TEXTING IS COMEING OFF LIKE HES FLIRTING SO HE IS DELETING HERS.. HE SAID HE TOLD HER THAT HE DOESNT WANT US TO END BECAUSE OF A FEW BAD FIGHTS,, THAT I DONE ALOT FOR HIM AND HIS KIDS,, THAT HE DOES LOVE ME AND WANTS IT TO WORK... SHE SAID FINE DONT EVER TEXT HER AGAIN.. WHAT DO I DO?I HAVE NO TRUST LEFT AT ALL FOR HIM HE WAS FLIRTING ON THE PHONE WITH HER WHEN IM SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.. HE SAYS HE LOVES ME I LOVE HIM TOO BUT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD WALK AWAY NOW.. FIRST HE WANTS A DIVORCE  BECAUSE WE JUMPED INTO MARRIAGE TO FAST  ,,, THEN HE WANTS TO WORK THROUGH IT HE LOVES ME .. NOW ITS ANOTHER WOMAN .. AND SHE KNEW HE WAS MARRIED HER SISTER WAS SUPOSE TO OF BEEN MY FRIEND BUT SHE GAVE THEM EACH OTHERS NUMBER AND TOLD MY HUSBAND THAT SHE LIKED HIM.. I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS CONECTED THAT HE WANTED THE DIVORCE NOT BECAUSE WE JUMPED INTO IT BUT HE WAS INTO HER ALSO... BUT HE SAID ITS DONE BETWEEN THEM HE DIDNT THINK HE WAS DOING ANYTHING JUST TALKING TO HER THEY KNEW EACH OTHER SENCE THEY WHERE KIDS.. BUT HE ADMITTED HE GUESSES THAT IT WAS ALOT OF FLIRTING AND HE IS SORRY AND HE LOVES ME NEVER MENT TO HURT ME... I DONT THINK I CAN TRUST ANYTHING HE SAYS AGAIN  I MEAN HE LIED ABOUT NOT TALKING TO HER AND HAD HER UNDER A FAKE NAME , I SHOULD TELL HIM TO LEAVE SHOULDNT I?
by janelle    15 Posts   
Posted on 5/27/2008 2:11 PM    
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Answers for "I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?"  (14) (You must be logged in to answer)
i'm dealin with the trust issue as well.  but here's what i think.  just because trust is lost, does not mean it can't be found again.  it may be hard to trust again, but doesn't mean it's impossible.  right now you will be trailing his every move, listening carefully to his every word, watching him, maybe even spying on him.  do what u feel is neccessary.  but do u really think yall need to separate?  yes he lied but he didn't cheat physically.  he said he was sorry an took care of the matters.  (deleted her number)  he might have been thinkin about cheating but did not.  now that he's seen how close he came to losing u that might have brought him back to the marriage.  people get bored an push buttons.  but when they see the reaction of those buttons they back away.  not everyone but your hubby did.  give him the benefit of the doubt.  i think separation is too much too soon an going too far.  work through it an see a councelor before going to extremes.
by beachbabee54   1 Post
Posted on 8/1/2008 3:29 PM
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Perhaps if you agree to totally open access to all phone numbers, email etc. My hubby was texting and emailing women. We had it out and agreed that I have all passwords to anything that might get him into trouble. By setting me up as the first owner on the computer I have total access to all accounts.

My general rule of thumb is this... if it has to be done in secret, it is probably wrong.  Just think about that, there is really very little that is done in secret that is above board.
by birdlover   3 Posts
Posted on 6/9/2008 8:06 PM
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