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Meeting to tell him

I am meeting my stbx for lunch to tell him that I want divorce. I can't think about anything else and I feel sick to my stomach. I have been wanting to say something for months now and just haven't had the nerve. We had a big fight yesterday and he confronted me. I almost blurted everything out with the kids (and probably the neighbors) listening. I want the adult topics to stay between the adults and the kids to stay out of it as much as is possible. I know that a divorce will change their lives, but I want to remove as much of the pain for them as I can. How do I say everything I want to say and not let him convince me that I need to stay and that he will change and things will be better (like he has done before)???
by marsham    16 Posts   
Posted on 5/27/2008 7:11 AM    
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Answers for "Meeting to tell him"  (2) (You must be logged in to answer)
I told him last year that I wanted a divorce and he promised to do all the right things to save our marriage.  We went to couseling - he didn't take it seriously and will not go back even though I have asked.  I feel that I have already given him the chance to change.
All this is for not.  He blew me off and didn't meet me for lunch.  I have to find another time to meet with him that the kids are not around.  I asked him when and where, but he didn't answer.
I guess that I will have to get someone to take the kids for awhile and just wait for him to come home from work one day.  I am not sure what else to do.
by marsham   16 Posts
Posted on 5/28/2008 11:31 AM
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I think the key to not letting him convince you with words is to ask for solid proof of his intention to change--if he really does want to change.  Like if he drinks he has to go to AA,  or see a shrink, or go to counseling with you.  A good technique is to ask for a trial separation during which he will do the things he's needs to do in order to prove to you that he's actually changed, or is genuinely willing to change.   I think if you have kids you should give him the chance to make some real changes, but have him out of the house first.  That will let him know how serious you are.
by EricaManfred   172 Posts
Posted on 5/27/2008 9:31 AM
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