Unconditional Love for My Cheating Husband

I think that it's all about respect, too. If he is cheating on you, then he is not respecting you or the vows he took in your marriage. Why would you want to keep putting up with that? If he is sorry about the cheating, wants to go to counceling and work on your marriage, that is one thing, but to keep on doing it over and over again, that's a disgrace. There are all kinds of disease out there and he shouldn't be out there with other woman. Loving someone unconditionally means that he is also loving you the same way, and that means not with other women.

hmmmmmmm he is grasping for straws now LOVE is unconditionally. Is it love if some one has to put condistions on it

Thanks, guys! Before I read all your comments, I did feel guilty for not loving my cheating husband unconditionally. While some people claim they love their spouses no matter what including adultery, I simply can't. It is good to know there is nothing wrong with me in that department.

Your parents are the only ones who can love you without reserve! And God.

justokguy - nice answer!!!

I would echo Anton - i think we should try and love our kids unconditionally, not our spouses.... 

My kids are amazing.  I cant imagine anything they could do that would change that, so i believe my love for them is without condition.... (a friend with 3 teens assures me I am naive here.....)

I love my wife, but if she breaks my heart by sleeping with the pool guy, and does so in a way that the kids and I walk in on them having at it, then i will not love her the same way ever again, I suspect....  So there is a condition to our love. Mutual respect.  Mutual shared affection, etc.

Wow, Alison... unconditional love...

I guess as people it is what all of us seek.  We want to be loved wholly and completely for who we are, not for who someone else wants us to be.  It is a love that transcends differences (black, white, rich, poor, young, old, educated, un-educated, etc.)  It even goes beyond our human imperfections and our limitations so that we love a person despite the times they may hurt us.

But here's the deal....  Unconditional love is something humans cannot do perfectly (if we want to get theological about it, only God can love perfectly and unconditionally).  That is because we are (a) imperfect and (b) require love in return.  In a marriage relationship, there are things that tear at the fabric of the relationship because either the other partner is not prepared to give mutual, unconditional love himself or we as a flawed human being simply are unable to overlook certain primary requirements of our self that the other partner has "brought to the table."

So in other words, it is not simply enough to say you should love your partner "unconditionally."  Obviously, we should.  But relationships are about mutuality -- about giving and receiving love, about respect and being respected, about forgiving and being forgiven.  Unconditional love with imperfect human beings is bound to have its difficulties because relationships must be mutual -- if one person screws up and ends up not acting in a loving way, then the unconditional love of the other must pull the weight.  Further, when that "screwing up" pattern continues, the mutuality of the relationship starts to die.  And then the relationship dies.

Bottom line, it sounds good, but "unconditional love" does not always equal a mutual love or a mutual relationship.  And it sounds like your partner is not interested in either.

Unconitional Love is where you love that person no matter what there faults are. But the only people that really deserve that are our kids.  Oh and animals. Husbands and wives are of course under some condition otherwise they can do what they want, treat you like dirt, cheat on you and expect you to still love them the same. You need to get rid of the cheating husband.  He's not worth the pain.