Hi I'm new to this group, and the reason I started searching divorce sites was just to answer this question.  I have been divorced for almost 3 years, after 17 years of marriage and 4 children.  My ex still blames me for everything and lies about what I do.  He was involved with a "friend" he'd known longer than he knew me, and who I thought I knew somewhat.  She is still his girlfriend.My ex was so extreme that I can't believe he does not have mental health issues.  During our marriage, he told our therapist I abandoned him when I "neglected" him when our then 5-yr-old had leukemia.  We also had a 2-yr-old and I was six months pregnant.  Our daughter was hospitalized for almost 6 months.  But I neglected him!  And then, I did not "allow" him to stop working and go to law school, because I was a stay-at-home mom for our 4 children.  In an effort to help his concerns, I started working full-time when our youngest was in pre-school.  He was especially concerned with the cost of health insurance because he is self-employed.  Two weeks after I picked up the health insurance, I was served with divorce papers.He continues to accuse me of stalking his girlfriend - it was never true-once I drove up her street when he cancelled picking up the kids and saw him there.  He filed a temporary protection order based on that.  I have not even seen her in a year, which is pretty amazing since she lives about a mile away from me.  He refused to move out after filing - the judge had to tell him to leave a year later (the divorce took a year and a half).  When I found a piece of a condom in my washer and "followed him around the house harassing him" he called the police for domestic violence.  Never mind that I just yelled , or  that he admitted it was a condom!  It took him a year to pay child support regularly, but he told friends he was doing so, etc., etc.,He now won't tell me if or where he is working because it is "none of my business.  I don't bother him, I avoid him!

YES!!!  This is normal behavior.  It allows them not to have to look too close in the mirror and see that they are at fault.  My husband (now ex) blamed me for his affair because I was giving too much time to our new born son.  He said it was my fault because I choose to breast feed him (the baby) and that took away from him.  He started hanging out with other people that he never would have associated with, so they too would make him feel like he was in the right because our friends were shocked by his behavior.  I took him back after the affair and started in couseling with him and things started to turn around until the next fling came around and then it was my fault again.  We are divorced now and I regret giving him so much credit to be a decent person and  to be a honest with me and I regret wasting so much time of my life trying to work