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   Posted to group - What do i do now    <<Previous    Next>>

advice

I have been having an affair for the last two months.  The man I am seeing is everything I had ever wanted in a partner.  We have fallen in love quickly and are both torn between our families and spouses.  I have asked my husband for a divorce and separation in the past but have always back pedalled because I felt bad for hurting him.  I know what I am doing is wrong on every level but I can't help how I feel about this other man.  My wanting a divorce has nothing to do with my feelings for this man.  I have fallen out of love with my husband over a year ago.  He is a good mand and father however I feel nothing for him any more.  I don't know what to do in terms of getting a seperation.  I can not afford to keep the house we live in on my own, and I know he does not have anywhere to go.  We are financially strapped in every sense of the word.  We both at this point in time can not afford to live on our own.  We have three children and I don't want to cause any kind of pain for them although I know when and if this ever comes out it will hurt them.  I just am at the end of my rope and don't know what to do.
by Bevy    7 Posts   
Posted on 5/16/2008 9:03 PM    
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Answers for "advice"  (17) (You must be logged in to answer)
In response to picturemaker:
You are correct in stating that we both are still together because of financial reasons.  But there is the hurt factor to consider as well.  We have tried to talk things out and tried to work things out, but at this point in time I truly don't think there is anything left for us to salvage.  The point of all of this is that sometimes we cannot change what has happened and for reasons none of us know, we fall in and out of love.  I have said in the past, I know that what I am doing is wrong on every level, I can only do the best that I can and hope that it all works out.
by Bevy   7 Posts
Posted on 5/29/2008 12:14 PM
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in response to mtnvly:
I was not getting nasty because I was hearing things that I didn't want to hear.  I know that I was going to hear those things and fully accept responsibilty for my own choices.  That being said: those people were judgmental and could only see it from their own side. 
And you are 100% correct in saying that i got married because I cared for the person and I truly did.  But again I married for reasons that were not the right reasons.  But that is water under the bridge. 

I appreciate the tact and maturity in which you gave me advice.  Thank you
by Bevy   7 Posts
Posted on 5/29/2008 12:08 PM
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