Wanting to hear from all who will comment

Last weekend, I came home unexpectedly at 1:30Am (I drive a truck cross country)only to find my wife not home and all vehicles present. It seems a friend "Bill" picked her up at the house and they went to a concert...!  For $11.40, I was able to get an internet search of the new cell phone # I found in the closet. The # comes back to a a guy named "Robert" (he added a line to his account).  This would be the same "Bob" that my wife went to Reno with several weeks ago. She said she wanted to see what it was like for me
being out on the road as a truck driver...
She says that both men were complete gentlemen and that absolutely nothing happened...  I REALLY REALLY want to beleive her....          but...
We both have been unfaithful during the marriage.  Me once, for several months, her twice (not counting Bill & Bob)
for 1 or 2 nighters.  I have no problem forgiving her, but she says my affair was the last straw.
I am her 3rd husband, and she is wife #2. I am 46, she is 50.
The marriage has been bad since before the ceremony.
She tells me that I am "Emotionally Abusive".
I know I need work.   I ALSO KNOW I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.!!
OK, open the flood gates and let me have it.
Ask any questions, ALL comments welcome..