Where do we start?

You're right, I think we need to both compromise. I was hoping to push this out til August since I have my son in a summer camp until then and I still have my job in the city. I'll have to look for a full time job too. This is too many changes at once! I have a lot of fear with this whole process, since my health care and income are so dependent on him. Maybe once I get a full time job with benefits I'll feel a little more secure. I just feel he's holding all the cards so pushing him feels dangerous. Has it worked for anyone else to both be living in the same house during this process?

well, compromise and negotiations must be made in this situation.  and nothing has to be forever.  i think setting up a time frame is a good idea.  school is almost out right?  how about you go live in the other house during the summer while he stays there and finds a cheap apartment?  he has until the school year starts.???

Thank you for the quick reply, Vicki. Yes, we'd both like it to be amicable. He's not very willing to commute to work, unfortunately. Since we're living in a small house and rents are so high, this will start becoming a problem, I fear. I don't want to move my son because of school, at least until he has to go to middle school in a couple of years. We've had to move schools twice now and we're finally in a stable school environment. My husband can work remotely but doesn't want to isolate himself outside of the city. I just don't know what to do next - list assets? negotiate a time frame? Maybe get a counselor to help us work things out? We have a lot of problems communicating, unfortunately, because he takes everything I say as a criticism, even if it's not. It just seems more complicated now than staying together and just not wanting to be together.

if its at all possible to keep this amicable, i would.  figure out what it most logical here for school/work.  if you're the primary caregiver, you need to live with your child and near the school, right?  at least until you can sell and move elsewhere?  isn't it less of a burden on your husband to commute to work?  maybe you can rent the other home and he can get an apartment near his work/ your home?  would that be better?