I had it "easy":  StoopidEx abandoned me in the midst of my cancer treatment (no lie) and moved in with friends one afternoon while I was at the doctor's (again, no lie) just nine days before our 12th anniversary.  Thus, I never had to face that situation. That said, my brother is an attorney, and his take jibes with every other piece of advice I've read on the subject:  If you're the one who wants the divorce, you're the one who should leave, and vice versa. That said, there's a reason the expression "possession is 9/10th of the law" entered the lexicon:  In most states, the party who walks out on the marriage is considered to have essentially abandoned his/her rights to any jointly-owned property/income/etc. they leave behind.  This is especially important to consider if you own property, have large and significant financial investments, etc.  The most significant investment most couples have is their house, so the real estate laws in your state become very important in the disposition of the asset (e.g., one party gets the house and buys the other out; the house is sold and the proceeds split; ownership is transferred from one party to another without a sale or other financial disbursement).   In our case, the mortgage was in StoopidEx's name only (we bought the house when I was between jobs, so it was easier to get a loan put through with his name only on it), but the deed had both of our names on it, and we were titled as "tenants by the entirety" (the default status of a home purchased by a married couple in most states, even if the mortgage only has one name on it).  Check the deed with the county where your house is located to make sure whose name is really on the house and what the tenant declaration is (this can be a nasty surprise to some people, especially if they assume that name on mortgage = name on title).  Whoever's name is on the deed has a right to the property, but that right is stronger if he/she isn't the party who moves out in a separation.

I tell my clients when it comes to the house CYA - (cover your ass) don't move until there is something in writing, filed in the court regarding the future of the home.


I'm a family law attorney

I am in that exact situation myself, except I didn't leave voluntarily, she kicked me out of my house. This is the house that I bought 13 years before we met with the inheritance from my late mothers estate. I bought it out right and my name alone is on the deed. I spoke In the parers she filed she is requesting the house and 8 acres it sits on. I've contacted several lawyers and was told the same thing by them all."If she thinks she'll get my home, she's dreaming" She has always told me that she would never consider taking my house yet here I am out on the streets. An attorney told me to get a temporary order to give me back possession of my home

My ex husband moved out when we separated. The state i live in didn't even make it a consideration.  My house was in my ex-husbands name only because he bought it the year before we married and never put my name on the paper work.  The only thing the court considered was the length of our marriage and if I was entitled to 50% percent of the sale of the house.  Due to the length of my marriage I was.  I believe in most states though consideration goes to whoever has the children.  Again in my state the mother is often allowed to stay in the home until the children have finished high school. In my case my ex and I decided that I would get the house instead of him having to pay alimony to me for an undetermined period of time.