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Ex NEVER shows up for the kids when he says he will. What should I do?

He always says he will be there the next morning to drive them to school. He tells them this on the phone the night before...and then like clockwork, he calls the next morning to say something ridiculous like his alarm clock didn't go off, or he is not feeling well. Good Grief! The kids are mad and sad and hurt all the time. I can't stop him from telling them he will be there. I've asked him to stop. He won't. I'm trying to follow the rules and not say horrible things about him to the kids. What should I do?

by Vicki 854 Posts
Posted on 11/5/2007 4:20 PM

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Answers for "Ex NEVER shows up for the kids when he says he will. What should I do?" (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

Sadly, if you have primary physical custody,there is nothing you can do. My ex-husband emotionally controlled myself and our children by making and breaking promises all the time. He didn't feel bad or guilty. It gave him a sense of power to be this way. And the courts don't care, they have no role in policing behaviors---and the custodial parent has all the responsibility. If I had plans, my ex would not show up and I had to cancel them. The custodial parent's job is to foster a relationship between the kids and the non-custodial parent. any kind of denial of visitation is seen as a negative for the custodial parent and could result in joint custody. It's not fair, it's just the way it is.

by Anniebee 5 Posts
Posted on 6/6/2008 1:40 AM

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Your ex needs to stick to his visitation schedule, no extra visits. It would be nice for him to take them to school but only when it is his mornings to take them. He is just hurting the kids. This website has a confidential journal entry tab you could use.

by Bea4 406 Posts
Posted on 12/4/2007 9:18 PM

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Go to Target and by a notepad. On that notepad list EVERYTHING that he does, promises, doesn't do etc for every day. Keep it on your nightstand and fill it out every night before bed. At some point you are going to need that secret little weapon and you will have it handy. In the mean time make him stick to the rules of his visitation and grant NO extra visits or make up visits. Either you are here when you are supposed to be or nothing. He'll either get the hint or go away. In the mean time don't sugar coat it to the kids they are smart and will figure it out. If they want a reason why tell them you don't know but that they are welcome to call dad and ask. That will get him more than anything else.

by mommaofbug 23 Posts
Posted on 11/27/2007 11:29 PM

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Ex NEVER shows up for the kids when he says he will. What should I do?

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