I'm 63 and my husband is 61.  We have been married for 5 years (All children are grown).  I came into the marriage with substantial equity in a rental property and he had next to nothing.  He and I both have very good salaries and lived well and over-spent.  We bought an older home and started remodeling it....finally he convinced me to put his name on the rental property and borrow against it for the remodeling.

Almost from the time we got married, he has wanted to develop an "open marriage" and has developed polyamorous friends and wanted me to become part of a sexually free lifestyle.  This has become a very bitter issue between us, and when I caught him having an affair, we started the downhill spiral towards divorce. 

Now, he says he doesn't want to move out; he doesn't want to pay his share of the loan against my separate property; and he is claiming an ownership interest in the rental property.  He feels that I am taking him to the cleaners because I want the marital house (I paid for the remodeling!).  He has been/and still is/very manipulative, but when I talk about feeling manipulated, he tells me how overbearing and controlling I have been.  He wants to come out of this with enough money to live well for the rest of his life (he wants me to pay him off to move) but which would leave me in dire straights.  He keeps telling me his fantasy of how well off I would be and how I would live comfortably for the rest of my life, but he does not understand that his story is only make-believe. 

I recently ended up in the hospital for three days from a stress-related seizure, and am now on anti-seizure meds.

This is going to take time, but I really feel like I have been had by a con-man.  How do I get him out of the house?  He admits to having a new girlfriend, but he is very careful to come home every night.  I think he has been advised to avoid the adultry charges.

Bons