my wife and i talk two or three times a day, i just talked to her about two hours ago. i feel like she wants to tell me the things we all want to hear but she just cant quite bring herself to do it yet,she did tell me that the idea of coming back is not appealing to her right now, we really dont have a place to come back to at the moment,however i am working on that. she is miserable where she is and our girls have told me they are miserable as well. i have researched a group called marriage savers as well as a group called retroville, they are having a weekend workshop in july, i have told her about this and she is considering it, i feel so frustrated, i dont know what else to tell her,other than i miss her and that i love her,i tell her this everynight before we hangup. i truly believe that if she wanted a divorce she would have talked to an attorney by now,she is still saying that is not what she wants. i cant help but think that there may be a chemical problem that is causing some interference here.

hurtintexas,
I had a hysterectomy and our minds are still the same we just don't have the hormones. Yes there are allot of hormone replacement medications out there but, most doctors are taking them off do to other problems. We are all different that is why not the same works for every woman.
Your wife is still there! She may need more time to get use to idea and with you out of the house she might think she really is failure. Think about marriage counseling or write her a letter to say you realize now you were not there when she might of needed you. But whatever you do take the time to be near her she really needs that. Maybe she still feels lost, maybe does not feel like a real woman anymore. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.

hurtintexas, I truly do feel your pain and where you're coming from.  My STBX suffers from MS and often needs to take steroids to treat the disease.  The steroids truly make her a nightmare to deal with, not to mention the other psychological and emotional issues she has.

 

I highly recommend counseling.  But the key issue is whether both of you are willing to try and make it work.  If only one of you truly wants a relationship (not the pretense of a relationship), all you will have is one-half of a solution.  Counseling just for you may be valuable anyway to deal with the grief you are already suffering from loss -- the loss of what you used to have together.

 

Good luck, friend

well when you do talk to her - ask her about counseling...the longer you two are apart the less likely you will get back together

she is not on any kind of hormones at all. our sex was great when we had it,that really was not the problem. and yes she has had a hysterectomy, now obviously there have been some issues before the surgery,but the got magnified greatly when she started having some problems with the aftereffects of the surgery, i fully admit i should have been more attentive , i am now seeing that i was being blidsided by only concentrating on making money, i thought that was the major problem and if i got that taken care of for her and i then we could relax some with the pressure of not having any money being taken off then we could spend more quality time together and be like we both want to be towards each other. i got an email from her yesterday,she does not have a phone installed yet, maybe once we start talking again ona regular basis we can start trying to fix our marriage, i believe god has blessed me with this woman and he does not want us to divorce.